Abstinence is Awesome

So the other night I was in line at Wal-Mart.  Yeah, its true, I shop there.  Truthfully there aren't alot of options on a Saturday night for buying much of anything.  In this town at 8:30 pm on Saturday, its either a gas station or Wal-Mart.  (yes, I know that the 4 of you from town here are also going to let me know of the other 5 stores that may or may not be open on Saturday's here, but roll with me, I'm cheap and Wal-mart is closest to my house...and yes, that means the difference between a 3 minute trip and a 4 minute trip.)

Anyways, I had put my items on the little conveyor belt thing-a-ma-jig and then wandered over to the place with the gum to pick out some gum.  I'm like that, the store wasn't busy so its not like I was holding up the line.  I grabbed the gun (haha...I wish, I mean gum) and turned around to a larger lady who said "I'm just going to cut in front of you, K."   Well, at this point all my other crap (basically chips, dip, and juice boxes,) had already been rung through, so I said, "Sorry, I'm half way through" and tossed the gum on the conveyor belt-ma-jig.  She gave me a snarly look.

That's when I looked at her and saw her wearing this gem...

If you want to order your very own click here.

Well from this point on really, the jokes write themselves.  I wish I had my camera, but I didn't so I had to google the saying to find the t-shirt. 

I get it, you know, the whole "abstinence is awesome" thing.  I think we should hand these puppy's out at schools everywhere.  Because truthfully, teenagers have the capacity to make stupid decisions.  I should know, I once was one. (Yes, I know that so do grown adults....I'd give examples, but I was threatened with inches of my life to not add his name on here.)

It got me to thinking, why in the hell would a somewhere under 39ish (yet over 33ish) woman wear that shirt?
Here are my possible answers...

a)  Just letting all those sessy men who are knocking down her door that she ain't opening up the candy shop anytime soon. (yeah, I highly doubt that one.)

b) She's wearing it to promote sex amongst the teenage population (What?? Don't get it?  Well if she is what abstinence looks like, I'll take the opposite.)

c) Trying to be funny...in which case, she should parade around with 14 kids, now that would be funny.

By the way...I think that her purchase adds to the humour of the story:

yeah, its a hand held vibrator massager.

Anyways, long story short, I hate when people be throwing me snarly looks. 

(yes, that statement was channeling my inner pirate.) Arrgh

Have your own possible answers for why?  Let me know.