Don't Bother With Another CD

I'd like to say that I have an eclectic taste in music.

Really, I like a lot of different kinds of music....and I happen to still like and listen to most of the crap I listened to in the 90's(Don't judge).  My iPod holds practically a zillion songs and today I put it on itunes DJ and just let it play whatever. 

Thats when I was reminded of this little gem....that I apparently liked enough to download (keep in mind that there wasn't itunes in '95, so obviously I downloaded this crap in the last 4 years or so....although for personal embarrasment sakes, I'm going to blame a sibling...you decide which one.)



All I can say is ......


go ahead...press play.


(ok...that was probably the best part of this post....go ahead, you know you want to press it again.)

Yeah...and if you think thats bad, apparently he has decided to release a new album sometime next year

and I'll hop aboard the crazy train and quote him....

"... I'm making a brand new record that will drop early next year. It is right there with the first Justin Timberlake's first CD. I haven't done an album since 1997, but it sold six million copies and fans have always asked me for more. And I would not have waited this long and gone down this path again if I didn't think we had something." source  (yeah, I know...it doesn't quite make sense with the whole 'first Justin Timberlake's first CD' thing...maybe, like many a child star he found his way to the bad stuff..or maybe the Yahoo's at Yahoo misprinted it...ok...its probably the latter of the two.)



I'm going to help him out....and say...don't bother.  Those 6 million copies were sold to completely idiotic tweens/teens...and now we're all a bit older.  We totally reserve the whole going crazy over 80's/90's stars for New Kids on The Block.

I hope I'll have to eat my words...because I mean .... he was a total heart throb in the 90's....and if he wasn't such an idiot on 'Blossom', I would've had a super crush on him.  I mean he's no Jonathan Brandis or 90's Leonardo Dicaprio (you know, back when he was hot.)...and really he'll never even hold a flame to several of the NKOTB....but hey...I'm not stuck in the 90's. 

Wait a second...I've got to go...I accidently put my hypercolor shirt in the dryer.

A Few Alternatives for FML

You know when you are having one of those days, you know, the ones where you'd like to put FML (F*#@ my life) as your facebook status.  But of course, you don't, because only f*&%in idiots put that as their facebook statuses.

I really don't like the whole FML thing....yes, I'm sure that some of you have pretty shitty lives sometimes, but really...FML?!

I've decided there are a few better acronyms, you know, ones that wouldn't irritate me as much as FML.

TIR - Today is Retarded
WOD - Waste of a Day
(Generic...but superior to FML)

IAE - Idiots are Everywhere (really, that about sums up everyday that I'm pissed off...them freakin' idiots...- Although quick sidenote...I once knew this girl named Pam who said that everytime that she ran into someone who was thoroughly irritating her with their stupidity, she reminded herself, that there would always be someone around to pump her gas...try it, it can add a surprising amount of joy to an otherwise annoying situation.)

GDW - God Damned Wal-Mart (Also another reason I am frequently irritated....how the F#@* do you run out of booster seats....I mean really...I doubt that they flew off the shelves that fast...I swear if it wasn't for Ted the greeter {best greeter ever!} I'd seldom visit.)

HFH- Hangover from Hell - Also a rather popular reason for people to be down about their lives. (I'm hoping that this will be the case Saturday morning)

IDS- I'm a Dirty Slut - (well not me!!  But quite frequently that's why some girl has added FML to her facebook....well if you weren't such a tramp, your boyfriend wouldn't have dumped you....just tell us the truth...with a simple, yet effective IDS)

And as for me, well I don't think anyone could decipher the
SDDTDNEMAC
(Shitty day due to my dog nearly eating my aunt's cat)

Whats your new acronym....and what does it mean?

Summer....Fashion Faux-pas Extravaganza

My uncle stopped over the other day and I was reminded of one of my biggest summer pet peeves....socks with sandals. So it got me to thinking (a dangerous past time, I know....and if you realize that I just scooped that line from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, you're cooler than I thought.)

Here are my top summer pet peeves....and ones that happen all too often.


SOCKS WITH SANDALS

....Seriously...either go the sock route or go the sandal route. This is not cool. (and yes, my husband does this....no matter how often I tell him he looks like a fool, he just doesn't care). Really...think about it....its like wearing long johns under your swimsuit. The whole point of sandals is to let your feet breathe....so why stick them in a sock?

Besides....

a) your socks will just get dirty
b) you look like an idiot (hey someone has to tell you!)


THE BANANA HAMMOCK

Yes, I know that supposedly these are all the rage in Europe. Well, here in Canada it tends to get chilly...even when its hot out, it can turn to be chilly within ten minutes and according to the law of shrinkage that you guys claim, these awesome suits will do nothing for showing off the goods. So stick to some board shorts....trust me...it will be to your advantage. That and did you ever notice that the guys wearing banana hammocks are never the ones that you want to?

(eww....and gold...I mean really...could he be any flashier?)

TUBE TOPS

Take a toque, then cut the top off and shimmy it over your boobs....there you go...you have a tube top. See how ridiculous that sounds....guess what...it looks just as ridiculous. Plus...last I checked its not 1985....(yes, I know that some of you wish it was 1985...but sorry about your luck...Def Leppard will never top the charts again...although if you need a back up singer for "Pour some Sugar on Me," I'm your girl.)


BRA STRAPS WITH SPAGHETTI STRAPS

I thought that this was sort of common knowledge, but apparently not. Plus, when this happens it isn't some cute little black strap that is showing. Its always some trashy pilled up dinge-y whitish bra strap showing. Either

a)don't wear a bra....(...only if you have tiny boobs and you can pull this off....otherwise, this could start a whole new round of pet peeves.)
b)wear a shirt with wider straps to cover the not-so sexy bra
c) buy a cute bra strappy- bra for the special occasions when you are planning on wearing a spaghetti strap outfit.

Nothing yells Gutter Sl*t like a trashy old bra showing under your spaghetti straps....hey, I'm just saying.

I know that these tips sound like common sense, but I'm sure that I've just helped thousands of people back from the brink of hideous summer attire....that is if thousands of you read it.