You know when you are having one of those days, you know, the ones where you'd like to put FML (F*#@ my life) as your facebook status. But of course, you don't, because only f*&%in idiots put that as their facebook statuses.
I really don't like the whole FML thing....yes, I'm sure that some of you have pretty shitty lives sometimes, but really...FML?!
I've decided there are a few better acronyms, you know, ones that wouldn't irritate me as much as FML.
TIR - Today is Retarded
WOD - Waste of a Day
(Generic...but superior to FML)
IAE - Idiots are Everywhere (really, that about sums up everyday that I'm pissed off...them freakin' idiots...- Although quick sidenote...I once knew this girl named Pam who said that everytime that she ran into someone who was thoroughly irritating her with their stupidity, she reminded herself, that there would always be someone around to pump her gas...try it, it can add a surprising amount of joy to an otherwise annoying situation.)
GDW - God Damned Wal-Mart (Also another reason I am frequently irritated....how the F#@* do you run out of booster seats....I mean really...I doubt that they flew off the shelves that fast...I swear if it wasn't for Ted the greeter {best greeter ever!} I'd seldom visit.)
HFH- Hangover from Hell - Also a rather popular reason for people to be down about their lives. (I'm hoping that this will be the case Saturday morning)
IDS- I'm a Dirty Slut - (well not me!! But quite frequently that's why some girl has added FML to her facebook....well if you weren't such a tramp, your boyfriend wouldn't have dumped you....just tell us the truth...with a simple, yet effective IDS)
And as for me, well I don't think anyone could decipher the
SDDTDNEMAC
(Shitty day due to my dog nearly eating my aunt's cat)
Whats your new acronym....and what does it mean?
Showing posts with label helpful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helpful. Show all posts
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater
Apparently someone out there has came up with a list of crap that can predict if you are going to cheat...
In no particular order I give you:
(drum roll please...)
1. If you live in a large city, you're 39 percent more likely to have an affair than those who live in small towns and rural areas.
No shit! I'll tell all you city folk why...because in a small town this is gossip gold, I should know. I got my greedy little ears on a hot story about two married folk...screwing around...yeah...thats right. News travels fast in small towns...and even faster when it involves sex.
2. If you earn $75,000 or more per year, you're over 150 percent more likely to have an affair than those who earn $30,000 per year or less.
Whew....I'm in the clear. The government sends me $100 a kid per month. I rake in $2400 a year (for those of you bad I math, I helped you out there.) Plus all the money I rake in from Adsense, wait a second I don't have adsense, because I don't think I need that extra 12 cents a month.
3. If you think about sex every day, you're 22 percent more likely to have an affair than those who think about sex just a few times a week.
Who are these liars? nuns...nope, Im sure that they think about it more than a few times a week...and they've never even had sex...or have they?
4. If you and your spouse lived together before getting married, there's a 39 percent chance that at least one of you will cheat on the other.
Do people still get married without living together? I mean other than bible thumpers...which ties in to some other reason this guy has listed. Yeah....how else do you know if they are going to drive you f*&^ing nuts?
5. If your identical twin has had an affair, you're 200 percent more likely to have an affair yourself than if your twin had not.
And here I am without a twin. Then how do you tell?
I'm curious as to where they got their information. That, and this tidbit of twinsie info isn't nearly as interesting as the whole they can sense when each other are in pain thing.
6. If you're African-American, you're a little more than twice as likely than men of other ethnic backgrounds to have an affair.
I think this is just because men think its fun to say " My baby's mamma is a triflin' ho." Actually I think that's pretty fun to say too.... look out all you triflin' hos.
7. If you've never attended religious services, you're 250 percent more likely to have extramarital sex than those who attend religious services more than once a week.
Whoa, well praise be to JesusAllahVishnuJehovahYahwehKrishna....I think I've got it covered...you know, just in case they don't consider blogging a religion.
If you'd like to read up on the other gazillion ridiculous risk factors, go ahead, but you'll be wasting your time, I already showed you all the good ones.
In no particular order I give you:
(drum roll please...)
1. If you live in a large city, you're 39 percent more likely to have an affair than those who live in small towns and rural areas.
No shit! I'll tell all you city folk why...because in a small town this is gossip gold, I should know. I got my greedy little ears on a hot story about two married folk...screwing around...yeah...thats right. News travels fast in small towns...and even faster when it involves sex.
2. If you earn $75,000 or more per year, you're over 150 percent more likely to have an affair than those who earn $30,000 per year or less.
Whew....I'm in the clear. The government sends me $100 a kid per month. I rake in $2400 a year (for those of you bad I math, I helped you out there.) Plus all the money I rake in from Adsense, wait a second I don't have adsense, because I don't think I need that extra 12 cents a month.
3. If you think about sex every day, you're 22 percent more likely to have an affair than those who think about sex just a few times a week.
Who are these liars? nuns...nope, Im sure that they think about it more than a few times a week...and they've never even had sex...or have they?
4. If you and your spouse lived together before getting married, there's a 39 percent chance that at least one of you will cheat on the other.
Do people still get married without living together? I mean other than bible thumpers...which ties in to some other reason this guy has listed. Yeah....how else do you know if they are going to drive you f*&^ing nuts?
5. If your identical twin has had an affair, you're 200 percent more likely to have an affair yourself than if your twin had not.
And here I am without a twin. Then how do you tell?
I'm curious as to where they got their information. That, and this tidbit of twinsie info isn't nearly as interesting as the whole they can sense when each other are in pain thing.
6. If you're African-American, you're a little more than twice as likely than men of other ethnic backgrounds to have an affair.
I think this is just because men think its fun to say " My baby's mamma is a triflin' ho." Actually I think that's pretty fun to say too.... look out all you triflin' hos.
7. If you've never attended religious services, you're 250 percent more likely to have extramarital sex than those who attend religious services more than once a week.
Whoa, well praise be to JesusAllahVishnuJehovahYahwehKrishna....I think I've got it covered...you know, just in case they don't consider blogging a religion.
If you'd like to read up on the other gazillion ridiculous risk factors, go ahead, but you'll be wasting your time, I already showed you all the good ones.
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