Vanity Plates....The Good, The Bad, and The Funny

Vanity Plates. I always thought the key to a good vanity plate required a bit of thought, but not too much, since those reading it may only have a few seconds to gather the intel.

This would be an example of a vanity plate that is bad...( unless your idea of cool is crossing the Red Sea on foot...ok...so that does sound kind of cool):

Yep...they actually put a biblical verse on their car. And curiosity got the best of me and I figured out just what was in John Chapter 3, Verse 4. "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." Although, I don't quite get why you'd want it, only other super-Christians would know what it meant, but perhaps that's the idea. Really....do that many people memorize biblical passages....on second thought, don't answer that.

This one....also NOT cool....unless perhaps you're a garbage man....then I can see the irony.

...here are some good ones:

Who didn't love The Goonies?.....


(WHAT??? You didn't love the Goonies....its a classic!)

Isn't that awesome?!

Well...just goes to show you that the DMV/Registry Office is full of
a) geniuses - who thought that this would be hilarious.
or
b)idiots - who didn't catch just why someone in Virginia would want to put 'eat the' on their licence plate.

and this.....

don't get it?....

here's a little refresher for you:


What's that....it means nothing to you? How can that be?!?!? Its classic 80's....I suggest you listen to it again.

There was a time when I wanted my number to be 867-5309 (ok...so that isn't true...not even a little bit.) .....then again after watching this video they aren't quite the heartthrobs that I imagined.

A Summer Activity That Is Only Cool In Movies

As I impatiently wait for the weather to warm up, I'm left daydreaming of hotter times.

Just a quick note for those of you who are experiencing summer-like conditions and may be tempted to try this. You can't always trust what you see in movies to be true.

For years, I longed to have a Jeep. You know, like a real Jeep, (not some fancy shmancy Jeep Cherokee thing-a-ma-jig...the real thing.) It always looked so cool in movies. In the summer time....girls in bikinis standing up in the Jeep as it sped down the highway. ..... You know exactly what I'm talking about. I think that Drew Barrymore did it in that 'Mad Love' movie back in the day with Chris O'Donnell (yeah...back when people thought he was hot.)

source

ok....so now you have a visual. Looks pretty cool, doesn't it. Well, back in the day my good friend, Arabella Apple Juice had a Jeep. (Way nicer than that Jeep btw.) So we decide to go to the lake for the day and that we were going to stand up in the Jeep...you know....to be cool...(and don't give me that look....you did plenty'o'dumb things too...I'm sure.) Well let me tell you, 100kmh is not a good speed to stand up in any vehicle, let alone a Jeep.

a) its impossible to keep your eyes open. I had to quickly retreat to put my sunshades on.

b) at that speed its hard to stand up straight, you pretty much get blown backwards....I think I may have bruised my back on the roll bar.

c) I had several bugs hit me in the face.....needless to say, bugs at 100kmh have a little sting to 'em when they hit the skin. (You know that huge splat you hear on the windshield...yeah that was on my face.)

So, long story short....bad idea.

We had to slow right down....and who looks cool on a highway doing 20kmh....no one.

If it Ain't Black, Take it Back....or Just Pretend

If it ain't black....take it back


.....I've always wanted to say that, yet never really had the opportunity.


So yeah....after consulting several friends, I've came to the conclusion, that black is the coolest color of vehicle to have. Not literally, because I think we all know that black actually absorbs heat, but cool as in funky cold medina.....although now that I've said that....you are all doubting just how cool black is.

Now, I know some of you are wondering, just what it is I mean by this. Well...really....imagine yourself in your vehicle..driving down the highway, the tunes are cranked, you are in your hottest outfit....and BAM! your vehicle is now purple....light purple.... I just knocked all the wind out of your sails...didn't I. Now repeat that, only with a black vehicle....see what I'm saying.




On a scale of 10 to 1 ...10 being the coolest, and 1 being the uncoolest, black is a 10.

That said, I've rated the rest of the colors as well



9 - white
8- silver
6-7 dark and trendy metallic colors, (bronze, pewter, dark green, dark maroon, dark grey, dark blue..debatable, I know.)
5 - red
4 - lighter colors (blue, teal)
3 - purple
2 - any pastel color


and the loser is.....



1 - wood grain

WOW...I bet you're glad that gem isn't yours. And if it is....I'm sorry, that you haven't been publicly mocked before now....but don't fear...all hope is not lost...you can still imagine its BLACK!

Now, yes, I realize that you can have a Lamborghini and its cool in any color. But that isn't what we're talking about. We are talking about the average Joe car, the mom minivan, and the 'that's all I can afford' mobile. They however, can still be cool.

So, on your next trip to the grocery store, work, or out for supper....give it a go.

And....if you don't have a car and have to ride the bus....this trick just doesn't work. Because as hard as you try to act as though its black, you still have the indoor atmosphere. The rider next to you is still picking their nose and the crazy lady at the back is still singing happy birthday. But on the bright side, public transportation is relatively cheap and good for the environment....right?

In other related news....for every rule, there is an exception....here's mine...

yeah...yeah...I know...don't even say it.