A Car By Any Other Name

I'm a visual person.

OK, I'm lying.  When I did that learning test in grade 5 (or somewhere around there) I was a tactile learner.  Although...it doesn't really matter.  I'm not really talking about learning.

Anyways, what I am trying to say is that when people tell me stuff, I visualize it.  That's right I always end up getting a mental image....so please spare me the details when it's nasty stuff. (I will forever have a mental image the time my friend told me the story of KFC gravy, a dog, and....oh...it's so bad I can't even continue for fear that I will scar someone else for life.)

So in order for me to get my imagery right, I need you folks to accurately describe things.

If you drive one of the following vehicles you may describe it as a "CAR":
a Camry
a Civic
a Crown Royal...wait a second that's a type of whiskey....a Crown Victoria
or any other non descript car
....unless...

you have a
Mini (think cooper not van)
Camaro
Lamborghini
Mustang
Corvette
anything fancy.
(These cars must be referred to by actual name.)

If you have any sort of van....I don't care. Just call it a "VAN"  that will do...you can throw mini in front of it if you so please.

If you have any sort of truck...just call it a "TRUCK".  I don't care if it's a 1/2 ton, a 3/4 ton, or has an awesome winch on it and a lift package.  I don't care if you got some fancy skull hitch mabob....that's fine but just tell me it's a Truck.  That will do.

Here is where it gets tricky...if you have an SUV....you can say just SUV, but you can also throw out what it is.  For example .... go ahead, say Escalade, Yukon, Tahoe....I get it.

If you have a crossover....you MUST use the correct name for it.  You should NEVER refer to it as a car. 
It's not a car, for that matter it definitely isn't a truck either...so don't be calling it a truck.

source

Let's say for example, you have a BUICK RENDEZVOUS.... (do you feel like I'm yelling at you? I'm not...I should just quit using CAPS...sorry.)
Never (I really mean NEVER...but I don't want to yell) refer to it as "My Buick"....Even if I know you, all of the sudden you'll turn into a denture wearing, depends pads purchasing  person in my mind's eye.
Just call it a Rendezvous...or a cross over, but come on..... call it a Rendezvous... it's fun to say.

"Let's hop in the Rendezvous and we'll go rendezvous with the other rendezvous-ers at the rendezvous destination."

OK...that may have been a bit much.

What do you call your vehicle????

If it Ain't Black, Take it Back....or Just Pretend

If it ain't black....take it back


.....I've always wanted to say that, yet never really had the opportunity.


So yeah....after consulting several friends, I've came to the conclusion, that black is the coolest color of vehicle to have. Not literally, because I think we all know that black actually absorbs heat, but cool as in funky cold medina.....although now that I've said that....you are all doubting just how cool black is.

Now, I know some of you are wondering, just what it is I mean by this. Well...really....imagine yourself in your vehicle..driving down the highway, the tunes are cranked, you are in your hottest outfit....and BAM! your vehicle is now purple....light purple.... I just knocked all the wind out of your sails...didn't I. Now repeat that, only with a black vehicle....see what I'm saying.




On a scale of 10 to 1 ...10 being the coolest, and 1 being the uncoolest, black is a 10.

That said, I've rated the rest of the colors as well



9 - white
8- silver
6-7 dark and trendy metallic colors, (bronze, pewter, dark green, dark maroon, dark grey, dark blue..debatable, I know.)
5 - red
4 - lighter colors (blue, teal)
3 - purple
2 - any pastel color


and the loser is.....



1 - wood grain

WOW...I bet you're glad that gem isn't yours. And if it is....I'm sorry, that you haven't been publicly mocked before now....but don't fear...all hope is not lost...you can still imagine its BLACK!

Now, yes, I realize that you can have a Lamborghini and its cool in any color. But that isn't what we're talking about. We are talking about the average Joe car, the mom minivan, and the 'that's all I can afford' mobile. They however, can still be cool.

So, on your next trip to the grocery store, work, or out for supper....give it a go.

And....if you don't have a car and have to ride the bus....this trick just doesn't work. Because as hard as you try to act as though its black, you still have the indoor atmosphere. The rider next to you is still picking their nose and the crazy lady at the back is still singing happy birthday. But on the bright side, public transportation is relatively cheap and good for the environment....right?

In other related news....for every rule, there is an exception....here's mine...

yeah...yeah...I know...don't even say it.