Canada ~ Your Questions Answered

Its Canada Day....Woo hoo!

Thats right, its the moment you've all been waiting for....I'm going to go straight to Google and help you guys out with the most searched for questions about Canadians.  And since I am a Canadian...who better to ask? 

So here we go:

Top 5: What do Canadians.....?

The Number one question on everyone's mind...(that is everyone, except us Canadians.)

What do Canadians eat?  Wow...you guys really wanted to know that?!  Well aside from our usual diet of fried beaver, seal blubber, and beer....we eat...well just like you.  Truthfully it depends, since we have a rather diverse population...I'm sure that if you came up with some bizarre diet someone in Canada would eat it....so there you go.  Yes, thats true...I'm sure that if you thought up goats blood and cow intestines, you'd find some group that we let into the country under the premise of being refugees...but I won't get started about that...see I'm sticking to the question at hand...look at me go.  And I like to eat Big Turks (no, not large Turkish people...that would be rude...and probably disgusting.)....apparently Americans don't get these tasty treats down there....well let me tell you, they're delicious...oh and poutine is pretty good too (fries with cheese and gravy.)

What do Canadians wear?  Really!?...what is it...12 year olds questioning the Google gods?  Ok...well once our igloos melt, we don't often wear our parkas (unless we're homeless.)  Yes, we wear winter coats...in the winter...and shorts in the summer, except for my husband, who never wears shorts and always wears atleast one long sleeve shirt, but he's cold blooded...(I'm sure) so yeah..he doesn't count.  Other than that, I'm not sure what you were looking for...."gawd, we'd never were synthetics, spandex, or animal prints"...yeah right...

What do Canadians think of their healthcare?  I think its great...Well I hate waiting for a month and a half to see my doctor...but thats my choice.  I could pick from the others....but I'd rather wait.(See...this is me being polite...I could ramble on about all sorts of professional indiscretions...but where would that get me?  waiting for 3 months probably.)  On the flip side though its free...and yes...I can stay in the hospital for a week...and walk out without a bill.

What do Canadians call Canadian Bacon?  It depends...We call bacon...bacon...and I think that what you refer to as Canadian Bacon, we call back bacon...or ham.  How do I know this....A) I'm a genius  and B)  I worked at Smitty's (a breakfast chain)  for several years.   Yeah...you say "Canadian bacon"...we say...."You must be an American....Can I refill your coffee?"

What do Canadians speak?  Gee thats a tough one.  At first, I thought I spoke Canadianese...but it turns out that its English......and technically French too...we are bilingual (and so am I...although I use the word bilingual loosely...very loosely.)  Unless you go to Hongcouver...where I think that more people speak Chinese.  Or out east...where the Easterners roam...and half the time I can't understand them either.....and if you are one of those easterners: Now luh, da arse is gone right out of er.  What you don't understand?!?!?...me either.  But you can look up newfie talk here if you would like to know....but its something or other about the economy.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

*And just in case you are wondering, I don't eat seal and I don't kill helpless baby seals....you'll have to talk to the newfies aboot that crap.  Oh...and I never say aboot...only newfies do...and me...when I make fun of newfies.

Kelserinni's Barfday

Back in Grade 7 I met a girl who lived on the same street as I did, but I never knew she existed until then. From then on we became attached at the hip throughout the rest of jr. high and high school. So, in honour of Kelserinni's (kel-sir-een-nee) 29th Barfday (although I highly doubt there was any puking of any sort going on....she's much too mature for that bull-hooey!) I've decided to blog a brief summary of 3 ridiculous ideas we had back in the day.


3) Saying things with an accent made you sound cool. Yes, instead of Strawberry....we said Strawbree....and just pretended that was how we naturally said it. In retrospect it reminds me of the girl in grade 8 who all of the sudden had an Australian accent after she hung out with a few Australian guys one weekend. Guess what...saying "mate" and "a dingo ate my baby" only sounds cool when an Australian says it (actually, the dingo one is only funny if its not actually true). Just as saying Strawbree only sounds cool if you're British....but we didn't care.

2) Pepsi and Cool Ranch Doritos were a sensible meal (not to mention diabetically delicious!)Yeah...completely ridiculous and not even in the realm of healthy. I know what you're thinking...where is the dairy in their diet? Well have no fear....March through May we stocked up on Cadbury Creme Eggs - they count as dairy, right? ( Just a quick side note, I once wrote Cadbury claiming that their Creme Eggs have shrunk over the years....and you know what they told me? Nope, I just grew. Since it was either accept their answer or boycott creme eggs, I decided to accept that perhaps I got bigger therefor thinking the creme egg was smaller. And FYI they make those creme eggs all year long just to be able to meet the Easter demand.) And the awesomest thing that we thought was insanely cool:

1) That singing aloud to music in a minivan...was super cool. The only way we could make it cooler was if it was Backstreet Boys....oh wait, it was. And if you aren't familiar with their work, I suggest you listen to this on repeat until you can get the 'rap' (from like 1:36 to 2:00) part down. If you do manage to memorize it, let me know and when I make my time machine and travel back to 1998, I will allow you to ride around in the minivan with us...However, I call shotgun.

(check out the dance moves...and you guys wonder why I'm such a pathetic dancer....I use no less than 3 of those moves in any dance routine I do.)


So there you have it...and I left out most of the embarrassing stuff (except for the Backstreet boys thing)....I'll save that for when I feel like being evil. :) Hope you had a fantabulous birthday!!!