Those Fantastic E-mail Forwards

I hate those e-mail forwards.  You know, the ones with the 18 bazillion rules at the bottom (OK, well truthfully its usually closer to 4 than 18 bazillion).  You must forward this to 12 friends. You must do this within 12 hours. You must do everything this says.  If you don't then your crush will be flattened by a piano while walking to tell you that he/she is madly in love with you, then you will never find true love and live your life with 15 cats and die alone. 

Yeah, that pretty much sums up those e-mails.
I am an e-mail forward hater...(I do like that chalk guy's drawings though)..in fact, I've been known to send e-mails back to the sender saying..."..this simply isn't true...you better tell everyone that they won't be receiving those free computers/cheques from Microsoft...."

The other day Henrietta Huffenpuff (yes, another new one...I've been waiting to use Huffenpuff in some one's name for a while!) sends me a bunch of e-mails.  It's not out of the ordinary...but this is what she sent.

followed by this:

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
Give these flowers to everyone you don't want to lose in 2010,  Including me, if that's what is in your heart.
Try to collect 8 ; it's not easy!

I had no choice but to send this back:

In Henrietta's defense, she phoned to tell me that she did not forward me "the one about gang's using baby strollers to lure mothers in for the attack.  I know how you get about that crap...so I checked it out on snopes...it's not true by the way....but a little Fengshui, who couldn't use that!"  ..."I mean other than you"

Dare to be different.

And just a quick little note.  I will be posting Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from now on.  That way, you guys will now when I should have new stuff up!

p.s.  I had to make the pictures of the e-mail's small, so that they'd fit in the post...sorry :(  I know they are ridiculously difficult to read.

Insane Crap You Can Buy On Ebay

It's true. I have too much time on my hands.

Sometimes, I just browse eBay, in case, I happen to find something good.

I say this, but truthfully, I've never bought a damn thing off of eBay. Besides all the good stuff is in England or the States. Then I'd have to pay shipping and all that crap. Then, guaranteed the rejects at customs like to keep my shit there for 4 weeks, until I undoubtedly have to phone and complain. So yeah, I'll just check out the second hand store up town for hot deals...or not. (but seriously, I just bought an old gumball machine there, I love it!  I'm not precisely sure what I'm going to do with it, other than the obvious, but I'll stock pile it, in my crap I've accumulated and refuse to get rid of pile)

Do you know the hot deals you can get on eBay?!

Well aside from matching salt and pepper shakers, duvet covers, and knock off designer purses, for the low price of $10,000 you can get a Vampire Invincibility Spell.

Don't believe me check it out here. (well only for the next 5 days, because then the listing is finished!)

Aside from that awesome spell, you could always go for the top seller, werewolf transformation, or maybe the old standby beauty spell.  In fact, for like $9.00 you can get a hair removal spell, which sounds mighty tempting, however, what about the whole long luscious locks I'm slowly growing out. I'm just lazy and don't want to shave my legs....but what if I end up with no eyebrows....(see, I think I'm going insane...I'm pondering this as though the spell will undoubtedly work!)

So, lets say that you have a spare $10 000 laying about.  And lets say, for the sake of my little rant here, that you bought the vampire invincibility spell.  How the hell do you prove that it doesn't work.  Because if you are only injured, then of course it worked, you could have died.  And...then you know, if you happen to be snuffed out, well then, you won't exactly be collecting a refund, will you?

I've decided that this lies somewhere between pure insanity and pure genius!  I think I've found my calling. 

p.s. I think its a bad sign that the seller says "makes u bulletproof"  I trust no one that uses that whole ridiculous texting slang while trying to be serious.  CUL8R
-yeah it only took me 3 years to figure out that little monstrosity of numbers and letters had nothing to do with cuter or curlers.
go figure.