Thursday, September 16, 2010

Insane Crap You Can Buy On Ebay

It's true. I have too much time on my hands.

Sometimes, I just browse eBay, in case, I happen to find something good.

I say this, but truthfully, I've never bought a damn thing off of eBay. Besides all the good stuff is in England or the States. Then I'd have to pay shipping and all that crap. Then, guaranteed the rejects at customs like to keep my shit there for 4 weeks, until I undoubtedly have to phone and complain. So yeah, I'll just check out the second hand store up town for hot deals...or not. (but seriously, I just bought an old gumball machine there, I love it!  I'm not precisely sure what I'm going to do with it, other than the obvious, but I'll stock pile it, in my crap I've accumulated and refuse to get rid of pile)

Do you know the hot deals you can get on eBay?!

Well aside from matching salt and pepper shakers, duvet covers, and knock off designer purses, for the low price of $10,000 you can get a Vampire Invincibility Spell.
Don't believe me check it out here. (well only for the next 5 days, because then the listing is finished!)

Aside from that awesome spell, you could always go for the top seller, werewolf transformation, or maybe the old standby beauty spell.  In fact, for like $9.00 you can get a hair removal spell, which sounds mighty tempting, however, what about the whole long luscious locks I'm slowly growing out. I'm just lazy and don't want to shave my legs....but what if I end up with no eyebrows....(see, I think I'm going insane...I'm pondering this as though the spell will undoubtedly work!)

So, lets say that you have a spare $10 000 laying about.  And lets say, for the sake of my little rant here, that you bought the vampire invincibility spell.  How the hell do you prove that it doesn't work.  Because if you are only injured, then of course it worked, you could have died.  And...then you know, if you happen to be snuffed out, well then, you won't exactly be collecting a refund, will you?

I've decided that this lies somewhere between pure insanity and pure genius!  I think I've found my calling. 

p.s. I think its a bad sign that the seller says "makes u bulletproof"  I trust no one that uses that whole ridiculous texting slang while trying to be serious.  CUL8R
-yeah it only took me 3 years to figure out that little monstrosity of numbers and letters had nothing to do with cuter or curlers.
go figure.


  1. It sounds like those Nigerian email scams, so I'm sure someone will probably bite on it. (Pathetic pun intended.)

  2. The person who posted that up must also post a turn-yourself-into-a-vampire spell so that people would find use in buying that vampire invincibility spell.

    People who say makes "u" bulletproof must be shot.

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  4. Bloody hell I'm getting that! I'll get it for the bargin of £6,314.11

  5. That was awesome...i think Vampire Invincibility should be open to the masses... clearly this stuff needs to be sold on infomercials. :D