Monday, May 31, 2010

Amazing Drummer

You know those days where you must repeat 'I love my job' as your mantra for the day, because work sucks and its no fun, and its sucking the life out of you.

For those days, you need a bit of cheering up....and proof that an amazing job is out there.


In fact apart from the awesome sparkly sequin coat, it looks like a pretty sweet jig...at least for the drummer.

As for the singer....I'm not to sure about his double handed stop signal hip thruster move, but hey....whatever works.

You can check out many more of their covers and the awesome drummer on Youtube.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Kelserinni's Barfday

Back in Grade 7 I met a girl who lived on the same street as I did, but I never knew she existed until then. From then on we became attached at the hip throughout the rest of jr. high and high school. So, in honour of Kelserinni's (kel-sir-een-nee) 29th Barfday (although I highly doubt there was any puking of any sort going on....she's much too mature for that bull-hooey!) I've decided to blog a brief summary of 3 ridiculous ideas we had back in the day.


3) Saying things with an accent made you sound cool. Yes, instead of Strawberry....we said Strawbree....and just pretended that was how we naturally said it. In retrospect it reminds me of the girl in grade 8 who all of the sudden had an Australian accent after she hung out with a few Australian guys one weekend. Guess what...saying "mate" and "a dingo ate my baby" only sounds cool when an Australian says it (actually, the dingo one is only funny if its not actually true). Just as saying Strawbree only sounds cool if you're British....but we didn't care.

2) Pepsi and Cool Ranch Doritos were a sensible meal (not to mention diabetically delicious!)Yeah...completely ridiculous and not even in the realm of healthy. I know what you're thinking...where is the dairy in their diet? Well have no fear....March through May we stocked up on Cadbury Creme Eggs - they count as dairy, right? ( Just a quick side note, I once wrote Cadbury claiming that their Creme Eggs have shrunk over the years....and you know what they told me? Nope, I just grew. Since it was either accept their answer or boycott creme eggs, I decided to accept that perhaps I got bigger therefor thinking the creme egg was smaller. And FYI they make those creme eggs all year long just to be able to meet the Easter demand.) And the awesomest thing that we thought was insanely cool:

1) That singing aloud to music in a minivan...was super cool. The only way we could make it cooler was if it was Backstreet Boys....oh wait, it was. And if you aren't familiar with their work, I suggest you listen to this on repeat until you can get the 'rap' (from like 1:36 to 2:00) part down. If you do manage to memorize it, let me know and when I make my time machine and travel back to 1998, I will allow you to ride around in the minivan with us...However, I call shotgun.

(check out the dance moves...and you guys wonder why I'm such a pathetic dancer....I use no less than 3 of those moves in any dance routine I do.)


So there you have it...and I left out most of the embarrassing stuff (except for the Backstreet boys thing)....I'll save that for when I feel like being evil. :) Hope you had a fantabulous birthday!!!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm A Poser With A Lawn Mower

I can almost hear Angela Apple Bottom insisting "that's what you get for being a poser." Since she does remind me of this every time I decide that I am going to reinvent myself. She said it when I went out and got workout gear and some brand new cute Nike's, and decided that I was a runner....oh and I needed an Ipod shuffle. When she asked why one of my other Ipod's wouldn't do, I insisted that they were too big, and that if I was really going to be a runner that I would need to have a shuffle. Because everyone knows that a good runner has a shuffle and if they don't, I bet they wish they did. Angela laughed out loud and told me she'd see, but that she was willing to bet that this running thing wasn't long lived. She was right, which brings me to my newest reinvention: Environmental Activist....or at least Lover of the Environment.For several years now, I have been whining to my husband that I think we need an old-fashioned lawn mower. I told him that in my opinion they are way better for the environment and they have the added bonus of being quieter. He did not share this opinion with me. In fact, in order to show me just how much he disagreed, he bought some big ugly yellow monstrosity, which I think is the biggest frickin' lawn mower you can get without it being self-propelled.

So recently, he caved. He told me that if I really thought it was such a hot idea, we'd get one, but that I'd have to mow the lawn (and that we were keeping the big ugly one for when he has to inevitably mow the lawn, because I quickly lose ambition on these sorts of outdoor tasks.)

At the time, this seemed like a great freakin' idea (I'm full of 'em) so I was a little smug, thinkin' that we should've done this years ago. And just imagine all the gas that we could have saved, had we started years ago.


Then he kindly mowed the lawn with his lawnmower so that I didn't have to hack down the amazon jungle that was our front yard with my new one. He then gathered a small audience to watch me mow the lawn.(Yes, right after he mowed it....and technically the audience was one friend, but it sounds more dramatic with several ....so just imagine.)


Well...whose smart idea was this ridiculous lawn mower? (Right, it was mine....unfortunately)


I am a fruit loop. Seriously....I was sweating...and FYI, I have a self- proclaimed allergy to sweat...which could've been a factor in my failure to be a runner. Aside from the few cackles and "I've never even seen one of those in person."...it wasn't horribly embarrassing...but it was beyond difficult.(Yes, for dramatic effect, I included a sweaty shot of 2 of the Jo Bros. in hopes of you being so turned off that their popularity plummets and I don't have to listen to them ever again, including from my 4 year old.)

This isn't just a workout....it is torture....but I keep pepping myself up with my little talk about being environmentally friendly...we'll see how long it lasts.


I'm not exaggerating when I say that I will have to mow the lawn every other day...otherwise it will be unmanageable...But on the plus side I have never been so thankful to have a lawn with quack grass and pee spots (from the dog...in case you thought otherwise.) In fact, quack grass is so much easier to mow that I'm considering ripping up the sodded backyard and encouraging quack grass growth...either that or perhaps paving it.


So...I'll see....maybe it'll get easier....like the whole, if you shave your hair, it grows back finer thing....(yes, I know that technically thats not true...but let me have my pipe dream.) Plus...technically I'm still using my mower....so there Angela Apple Bottom...perhaps I've found my calling as an Environmental Activist Extrodinaire...then again....I always wanted to be a rockstar...hmmm.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Lost Re-enacted By Cats

OK....it's true...I'm a total Lostie (yep, I can home from camping early, just to watch the 4 1/2 hour finale) and I don't think I've been this hooked on a tv show since probably Little House on The Prairie (yeah...bizarre, I know....and before your mind even goes there, NO, I did not have a crush on Michael Landon...thank you very much.)

(just a quick refresher, incase you weren't sure which one was Michael Landon, since I was probably the only 10 year old to watch every episode.)

Anyways, back to Lost (I tend to get sidetracked easily). This gem will basically bring all of you non-Losties up to speed.

Plus it has cats and since I was a little down on the cats in the Plenty of Fish post, I thought I'd post a little comic relief to event things out.



Yes....its freakishly accurate.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Mugshot Mishaps

I'm sure that throughout the world, there are thousands of mugshots taken daily. I'd like to thank these people for adding a ray of sunshine to the stack of otherwise monotonous mugshots.

You know when you wake up and you're thinking hmmm....should I straighten my hair or curl it. Why not go with a little of column A and a little of column B....I like to call it the Half-fro.

or for all you guys out there.....ever get tired half way through shaving and think....aw....screw it!
apparently he did.


And this guy....he's great.

Thank goodness he tattooed that there, otherwise I never would have guessed. (for those of you who can't see, it says 'Ladies Love it'....and seriously are those lipstick marks tattooed on there too?) For some reason I'm willing to bet that he isn't that great with the ladies, but hey a positive attitude is half the battle....right?

Don't you hate it when girlfriend steals your outfit!


This guy....well I'm as puzzled as you are.....Arts and crafts gone awry?

(never mind...I looked into it....apparently gold is his favorite color of paint to huff....who knew?)


Sometimes you just have to make the best of a bad situation....

He is either throwin' a little sugar at the officers in hopes of a little favor trade or really thinking ahead that this is the prime opportunity to get a snapshot for his profile picture on Plenty of Fish....I mean really, he couldn't do any worse than the cat men out there.


P.S. I don't think that spray paint huffer really prefers gold paint, I'm sure any ol' color will do.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Olympic Mascots

Each time the Olympics rolls around a new mascot(s) get unveiled.

China had the Quintuplet bears....which I thought were pretty cute.



Then us Canadians came up with a Sasquatch and whatever those other two animals are. (Seriously....flying squirrel and swirly topped half skunk/half panda perhaps?)


And now London unveiled their new mascots for the upcoming 2012 games. They come with a little back story of how they were created by the last drops of metal while making the Olympic Stadium, but really....they just give me the heebies.



They aren't overly cute. And they seem to be slightly evil looking (I'm picking up an evil doer....plans to take over the world vibe...how 'bout you?). And really one eye....weren't cyclopses not nice (or correctly cyclopes...but it just doesn't look right). I dunno, but when I think of a cyclops, I don't think of sportsmanship, friendliness, and generosity...I think death, destruction, and Zeus....I'm sure he has something to do with Cyclopes. And the orange and white one looks down right pissed off....and everyone knows to avoid a pissed off cyclops.

Secondly, what I find more disturbing is the blue groin zone on the white and blue one....what is up with that?.....it just draws attention to a zone which should be completely ignored in mascots. And now that I'm checking it out, it looks a little bulge-y....I definitely won't be taking my children around these two.
I am just not feeling these mascots....but thankfully the London Olympics are only a few years away and then tweedle dee and tweedle dum (not their names by the way) will fade into obscurity.....


I mean really, you don't even remember the blue slug that was the Olympic mascot for Atlanta now, do you? Yeah...me neither.
(btw...I don't think he was supposed to a slug. And the creepy one-eyed mascots are named Wenlock and Mandeville.)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Robot Dance-off

Ok....robots....and dancing....does it get any better?


Thank you very much-o, Mr. Roboto.

I would also like to point out, that none of the robots are actually doing 'the robot,' a little dissappointing, but I'll live.

Now granted yes, its a super cool video, but I still stand firm on my robots will take over the world theory. Don't believe me, just watch one of the 698 (a low estimate, I know) movies that Hollywood has churned out about that exact theory. This is what the robots want you to see....harmless little dancing machines, but be warned, they're doing this to lull you into a false sense of security....next thing you know you'll wake up in a bath tub of ice missing a kidney.



hmmm....maybe I watch too many movies.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I love(d) College

Yeah I know that its a song (sort of a lame one at that), but its so true.








I got together with my old roomies and our R.A. (yeah...I'm drawing a complete blank as to what that stands for...resident....somethingorother) from College this past weekend, for a ten year reunion of sorts.


Seriously, I think we all agreed that college was one of the high points of our lives and here were some of the best reasons.....and ones that you just can't really get away with now.

9) We never paid for booze....like ever. (and even if you weren't cute, which we totally were, it was like penny (or quarter) jugs....mmm...candy apple penny jugs....actually I tried one a while back, not quite as awesome as I remember.) plus now there is some law about selling liquor that cheap.


8) You could do completely ridiculously stupid things....and people thought it was cool....I may or may not have eaten raw chicken and burnt off all my fingerprints....don't believe me....ask Marci Maple Sugar. (yeah....if I did that now, I think I'd probably be spending some time in either a hospital or a psych ward)


7) Pizza and Kubies were considered an awesome meal. The only time it wasn't so awesome was when Marci turned on the stove with the pizza box from the night before inside....if I had a dollar for every fire she started.....well I think I'd have 5 bucks. Or when that other chick beat up the Kubie guy....Damn I wish I saw that.

6) You could party every night of the week and still only get on Academic Probation(which technically means that you are still in school)....its true. Even on the odd night we stayed home, people would still show up at the door @ 2:00am looking for a party. (Now...if someone even phones after 11:00 I answer with the bitch voice.)


5) Roommates.....Some were crazy, some were awesome, and some invited drug dealers to live on your couch....hey, it happens. (Long story short, drug dealers are incredibly paranoid, and therefor they can be easily manipulated into moving out)


4) You could dance on the speakers at the bar and it was awesome....if I did that now, I'd break a hip, and throw my back out, plus I'd look freakin' ridiculous. Also, it wasn't unusual to know the bouncer and several of the bartenders, and nobody thought you were a loser because you knew this info....it actually made you a priceless friend to have.


3)If you thought small town gossip was bad, college res. is worse....we all knew when 7 sexy vixens was stuck in the neighbor's VHS player.....and he tried to deny it....but too late....the VHS player had already made its rounds. (yes, I realize that nobody even owns a vhs player anymore, but seriously, this would never be as funny with a DVD player.....I mean you wouldn't even be able to read the title if it were a DVD, just one reason to bring back VHS....and 864 reasons not to....but who's counting)


2) You could break into other homes in your cul-de-sac, steal their shit and replace it with cardboard boxes...and nobody was mad....but you had better keep your door locked for the next month...cause payback is a bitch. Try that now....yeah...good luck with not getting a criminal record.



And really....the best reason that college was awesome.......................

1)You could just not go to class for a Mario emergency....I mean really, you can't save on old school nintendo, you just have to keep playing......for days. Quite easily justified then.....try that now, and have a happy time looking for a new job.


ah...then you have to grow up...eventually, or you become one of the people us grown ups talk about.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Wonderful World of Carnie's

I went out to a carnival this weekend, and got to joking about with the "Carnie's," that they were the best dressed carnie's I'd ever seen. Granted, it was really more of a local fundraiser than a typical transient, not sure if that ride's safe, bad overpriced food, kind of 'carnival.



Don't worry, if you immediately thought of the tilt-a-whirl and miniature ponies pooping everywhere, so did I. (And I'm willing to bet if you weren't thinking about pooping ponies, you are now.)

So I got to thinking about actual carnie's (you know, the ones who do it for a living) and such and am not surprised to learn that they got their own lingo. Which...to be honest...is slightly disturbing, exactly what else are they hiding from us. But, I'm gonna try and memorize it, so that if I hear a carnie calling another carnie a 'Possum Belly Queen," I'll know that she's either a girl who stowed away with the carnies (really??? that happens?) or a whoo-ra. ( And yes, its a whole lot classier to say whoo-ra that w#o^e... because that's right....I'm classy like that.) Really though, that is the most exciting little tidbit that I learnt.....and it rolls off the tongue nicely too. Plus, I'm sure that there is some lingo that means, "this ride is missing like 4 bolts and nobody cares to fix it, so if you ride on it be prepared to lose a limb."...just as soon as I figure out how they say that, I'll let you know.


Although a bit crass perhaps, let me be the first (non-carnie) to say, that I'm wholeheartedly going to embrace carnie lingo....because seriously...the English language doesn't get much sweeter than this. Its not often that you come across a whole new vernacular of total awesome trashy words.




But before I get mean and comment about the cleanliness of carnie's or something else that my mother wouldn't approve of.....I'm going to leave you with this Carnie thought.



And now I just feel dirty for putting Carnie Wilson in a post about carnie's.


P.S. If you don't know who she is.....really....did you live through the 80's....what's that ....no, well check her out here. (here's the cliff notes for those of you who care ...Daughter of a Beach Boy-Wilson Phillips singer-average size-big-really big- really really big- gastric bypass- thin- playboy-big-celebrity fit club-new diet plan) viola!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Fanny Pack Friday

Remember back in the day when the hippest way to transport a few things was the 'fanny pack.'
Mine was pink....the epitome of class and elegance....I was ten....so cut me some slack and I'm pretty sure you probably had one too, so quit hatin'.

So, whilst on my tour for fanny pack related goodness, I came across this awesomeness....








Just when you thought the trend was long over.......Apparently, fanny packs are still rather popular with the 50+ age group. That and fanny packs also have created a niche market for themselves for concealing weapons....see what I mean here.

So that's got me thinking....precisely who uses these gun concealing fanny packs? Is that what they use in 'the hood,' because I can't really see that being taken seriously. (Yes, it sounds odd when I say 'the hood' I know, but what else am I supposed to call it?) Some guy walks up to you and lifts up his shirt to reveal a fanny pack....and then a firearm....really? Do you laugh or run or give him your watch...hmmm. Perhaps fanny packs are this retailers solution to the 'pants on the ground' issue....in which case, I'm in full support!

Or are these fanny pack concealers more for the 50+ age group....because trust me, their purse selection sucks....I don't know any self respecting woman who would carry one of these purses around that's under 45.....In fact, check them out, I may have a Grandma who would think they're stylish, but trust..............she ain't packin' heat.

With all this 'hood' slang I fell like I should be listenin' to some rap music, but I wouldn't know where to begin.....besides....the names rappers have is enough chit chat to fill another blog post, so I'll save it for another time.


And then I discovered this, which made me change my mind about fanny packs...........


And before you start thinking that he's concealing a weapon, we all know that Chuck Norris needs no weapons other than his bare hands.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to live. (to read up on more Chuck Norris facts click here)


So on that note, I love fanny packs.


Have a Fabulous Fanny Pack Friday!

The Wedding Singer Gone Awry

Ok....so, most people try to save a little dough when planning a wedding, since the damn things are so expensive. Some cut back on a meal, serving a light lunch instead or have a toonie bar.... (yeah I know everyone here does that, but apparently in high society thats tacky as hell to have a pay bar.)....btw...I'm tacky as hell I guess.

So, this next little vid....I'm thinking they figured they could save some moola if they just had a friend DJ. Hmmm....seemed like not a bad idea, huh?

Check it out....and don't quit watching, because it gets REALLY awesome at the 0:25 mark.



yep....he actually did that in public....

which made me completely forget about his ridiculous rendition of 'The Conga.'

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Yo-yo Master of Disguise

I have as today's blog topic....Proof that anyone can get on TV.
Did you ever have an imaginary talent, that you were hoping would bring you fame? Well, look no further than.....K Strass....yo-yo master....







WOW!.....I can't believe they let him on TV....and then after he failed epically, the interviewer said nothing about it. I also love how he confirms that his web address is zipzapllc.com (which doesn't exist by the way...that's right, I looked it up) when his shirt clearly says ZIM ZAM!

The rap....its clever, alright....just imagine what he could have done with the headpiece, you know, the one he usually has.

I didn't know that you could use muscle memory as an excuse....but look out....I've just added that to my allergy to sweat on why I can't workout.


I can't even keep a straight face....if you thought that was funny...check out a few of his other TV appearances on youtube. Because, yes, more than one TV show has had him on....with the same results every time. Do they not do a little bit of research about someone before they have them on?


K Strass just made my day. And he's got me thinking.....maybe I could take up having an imaginary talent.....perhaps the kazoo....hmmm.




Never mind....this dude has me beat....plus he comes with his own bubble blower.

The Beyonce Bicycle

Since I pick on other people, its only fair for me to pick on myself from time to time too. Besides, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at.


As many of you know, I am a horrible dancer.

Recently, several of my friends decided to hold a 'dance intervention.' ............... Yes, I'm that bad....fortunately for me, nobody has managed to capture me on video, to the best of my knowledge....and no, that is not a dare. So don't bother walking around with your video camera ready to go. This poor guy however, was not so lucky.....and before you laugh too much...I think I may have stolen a move or two from him. Just to give you a visual....





At first, I tried to blame it on my friends....you know, they are the ones who hauled my ass on the dance floor. But they claim that when they went to sit down, I insisted that I should carrying on the shit show, by myself. I'd like to publicly thank all of them for leaving me to dance like an idiot by my lonesome. THANK YOU!

Apparently...though, it gets worse. Since I am such a crappy dancer, I apparently only have a signature move that I repeat...non-stop. One that has been termed "The Beyonce Bicycle." Now I threw 'Beyonce' in there myself, in the hopes of classing it up a bit, but rest assured, its bad....really bad. In fact, when sober, I'm not completely sure of precisely how I do it, but it starts out with an arm chugging motion (think enacting a train to a 3 year old.)....and then I throw the legs on in there. And really...its all downhill from there.

So, recently my friends informed me of my atrocious dance moves....I could do nothing...but be thoroughly embarrassed. Then I was invited by a friend to a dance class....yes....I'm that bad. But I figured that really, I had nothing to lose, so why not try it out. So I've been in class for several weeks now....and all I have to say is...... Look out!!! If my dance move (s) were bad before....I have simply learned some even more ridiculous looking moves.

My new repertoire includes (but is not limited to) .... the cabbage patch, Saturday night fever, some move with leg kicks....and a few bad ass hip hop moves. (which I am almost guaranteed to screw up.) So keep your eyes open...you never know when you may see me at my finest.....




Also...while on the topic of dancing. The possibilities are endless....and this is sheer genius. I wish that everywhere that sold liquor also had treadmills....you can be sure I'd be all over this at 2:00 am.








Can't beat the dude in the back on the elliptical...completely oblivious to the awesomeness going on in front of him. FYI, this is a parody of Ok Go - Here it goes again....you can check out the original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA



I'll be keeping my eye out for camcorders where ever alcohol is served.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

If it Ain't Black, Take it Back....or Just Pretend

If it ain't black....take it back


.....I've always wanted to say that, yet never really had the opportunity.


So yeah....after consulting several friends, I've came to the conclusion, that black is the coolest color of vehicle to have. Not literally, because I think we all know that black actually absorbs heat, but cool as in funky cold medina.....although now that I've said that....you are all doubting just how cool black is.

Now, I know some of you are wondering, just what it is I mean by this. Well...really....imagine yourself in your vehicle..driving down the highway, the tunes are cranked, you are in your hottest outfit....and BAM! your vehicle is now purple....light purple.... I just knocked all the wind out of your sails...didn't I. Now repeat that, only with a black vehicle....see what I'm saying.




On a scale of 10 to 1 ...10 being the coolest, and 1 being the uncoolest, black is a 10.

That said, I've rated the rest of the colors as well



9 - white
8- silver
6-7 dark and trendy metallic colors, (bronze, pewter, dark green, dark maroon, dark grey, dark blue..debatable, I know.)
5 - red
4 - lighter colors (blue, teal)
3 - purple
2 - any pastel color


and the loser is.....



1 - wood grain



WOW...I bet you're glad that gem isn't yours. And if it is....I'm sorry, that you haven't been publicly mocked before now....but don't fear...all hope is not lost...you can still imagine its BLACK!

Now, yes, I realize that you can have a Lamborghini and its cool in any color. But that isn't what we're talking about. We are talking about the average Joe car, the mom minivan, and the 'that's all I can afford' mobile. They however, can still be cool.

So, on your next trip to the grocery store, work, or out for supper....give it a go.

And....if you don't have a car and have to ride the bus....this trick just doesn't work. Because as hard as you try to act as though its black, you still have the indoor atmosphere. The rider next to you is still picking their nose and the crazy lady at the back is still singing happy birthday. But on the bright side, public transportation is relatively cheap and good for the environment....right?

In other related news....for every rule, there is an exception....here's mine...



yeah...yeah...I know...don't even say it.



Wednesday, May 5, 2010

ICP...Back and Badder Than Ever?

Whilst I went through my slightly rebellious phase as a teenybopper, I decided that the song "The Neden Game" by the Insane Clown Posse was an awesome song....even though my mother hated it. She hated it with good reason, seriously, listen to it. Upon listening to it again, a decade later, it makes me cringe, yet I still know all the words. I guess that is what happens when you play a song on repeat for a good six months......and yes, I realize admitting that is slightly embarrassing.

ICP were completely bad ass....all about swearing and violence, which at the time I thought was cool, I guess. Anyways...they seemed pretty hardcore to me. Which probably doesn't really mean that much since I am about the furthest thing from hardcore that there is.....unless we're talking scrapbooking.

In case you aren't familiar with them....here is where you can catch "Neden Game" and the lyrics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSKj02nuVF0 ... see...I bet if your daughter was listening to that crap you would be thoroughly impressed too. (btw...for my readers at work....you might want to turn your speakers WAY down.)

I had long since forgotten about ICP and "The Neden Game" and really anything else that they may have performed, when I happened to stumble across their newest gem.













WOWZA....I know that several of you are busting a gut....because I sure am.

Just a slight departure from their earlier work, non?

Although they may need a bit of a schooling about what exactly constitutes a miracle.



"15,000 juggalo's together"...yeah...That would not be a miracle to me, more like a nightmare....perhaps if I managed to live through it without being shanked. I suppose I may classify that as a miracle.


Wikipedia defines one as :"Juggalo or Juggalette (the latter being feminine) is a name given to fans of ICP or any other Psychopathic Records hip hop group. Juggalos have developed their own idioms, sets, slang and characteristics. Common characteristics include drinking the inexpensive soft drink Faygo and wearing face paint." It also claims that they have some famous members, such as.....bad ass extraordinaire....Vanilla Ice??? WTF I really have a hard time picturing anyone singing.... Ice, Ice, Baby as a bad ass....(FYI...his real name is Robert Matthew Van Winkle....which still isn't bad ass....sorry, anything with the name Van Winkle sounds like it belongs in a children's book)


On second thought maybe 15,000 juggalos together isn't as scary as I thought....face paint, cheap pop, and Vanilla Ice....wait a second....this sounds vaguely familiar to a slumber party that I went to in the 80's (with the exception of the 15,000 thing...I think there were only 5 of us)


Great...after listening to this song on repeat while I wrote this little blurb, I have it stuck in my head...because dammit....
Do you recognize and believe in miracles.....


and by the way.... he was right...."that shit shocked my eyelids!"

I'm off to find solace in my itunes....here goes Corey Hart....if "Sunglasses at Night" can't get this out of my head....nothing will.

Cats love Plenty of Fish


With a name like Plenty of Fish, no wonder why it attracts the 'cat people.'

First off....I am a plenty of fish user....although its not what you think. I often like to live vicariously through Marci Maple Sugar....she's always up to something and it usually sounds like fun. So when she was all down about POF, I volunteered to log in as her and find her a man. Marci then informed me, "I'm not too picky...as long as he isn't a 'cat man.'" Although it should be self explanatory...I asked anyways. And you bet....a 'cat man' is just that....a man who poses with cats.

...Now I know that many of you are now humming the theme to 'Batman'...the old school one...not the newbie one. That's right ..... na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na....... CAT MAN. And for those of you that weren't thinking that....too late, I bet you are now.

I started to search for guys for Marci and lo and behold....up came a 'catman.' (Yes I know that I am acting as if its one word and it really isn't but writing it as one word lends itself better to the batman theme.)

Unfortunately...its true cat people are out there....and ready to date...

Now I don't want to be too harsh...because, I mean, really I don't mind cats. As a matter of fact I even kind of like them. But jeez Louise.....what exactly do you think you are going to reel in with a pic of you getting some action from a cat? And since you are on a dating website to begin with, I am going to go out on a limb and assume that truly is the most action you've gotten in quite some time.

See for yourself:

Seriously....even the cat is closing his eyes in hopes that his feline friends won't recognize him.




See...ol' snooky here...isn't even looking at the camera....even she's embarrassed.

And here's one more....just for good measure....and to prove that I'm not making this up! Nothing screams 'date me' like a profile pic of your cat on your shoulder.




Now don't get me wrong. I give mad props...(whatever those are) to these guys for even venturing out on a dating website...it takes some guts to put yourself out there like that...especially with a cat.


Here is the thing...if a woman has a cat, more often than not, we throw her into the 'crazy cat lady' column....all I'm suggesting is that we throw the men right on in there with 'em.


Also....if you are a CCP (Crazy Cat Person)....I suggest you try here for a soul mate http://crazycatladies.org/ ...and no its not a dating website...just somewhere you can bond with those who have similar interests/obsessions....cats. Plus if you buy something, they donate money to the Best Friends Animal Society...and who doesn't want to help out animals. :) See contrary to popular belief, I'm not a heartless bitch....all of the time.



(p.s. I do know what mad props are)

Fighting The Hot

So here goes....my first little foray into the wide world of blogging. And why not....I have plenty of time to ramble on about whatever I wish.

Now, most married couples that I know have what I like to call a "freebie." This is someone of the opposite sex that you can get it on with and have no reprecussions from your significant other. Whether, any people ever actually get to have a crack at their freebie....I don't know...I've never actually heard of it, but a girl can dream can't she. Mine is Daniel Johns, the lead singer of Silverchair. Yep....which is probably why my husband has vetoed any and all ideas of a vacation in Australia.

Back in the day....I became infatuated with a long haired and slightly femmy...now that I look back...boy. Here he is in the 1990's.
yes....I probably spent a good portion of my teenage years swooning over him. And don't lie, I'm sure several of you did too. Although...check out them brows...one word....wow.

Then, more recently he chopped off the long locks....I could even get on board with a more mature, yet still sessy as hell Daniel Johns. In fact, now that I'm a little older myself, long hair on guys doesn't quite make me swoon as it once did, currently it just leads to a slew of questions about hair care, detangling, and sharing product with their mothers, wives, or girlfriends. Yes...I know...its much more disturbing when you think of it like that. Also, I'm sorry for ruining the love of the long hair for the few of you left that love it.

See...he is still super hot.....but wait....


This morning, I log on to FB and see these new pics of him at the Groovin' the Moo goings on in Australia and there is this:



Seriously....WTF....purple....and not vibrant, cool looking, punky purple. Granny rinse purple. Which slightly reminds me of Mrs. Slocombe in the British comedy "Are you being served."





If any of you can actually remember that show....freaking hilarious. Although it was really not appropriate for children I watched hours of that show...and never really caught all of the pussy jokes....until now. If you've never seen "Are You Being Served"....you are missing out. You can check out a clip on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVg96xxwtE.

Yes...I am thoroughly bothered....please for the love of hotness....reinstate a less granny lovin' color. Thankfully, hair grows ... and dye is only temporary. So please... I beg of you...quit fighting the hotness.

Also a shout out to Chris and Ben, the other 2 members of Silverchair.....Chris who has never fought the hotness....and Ben....who was once fighting it....but is clearly on the road to recovery. (I'll save odd moustaches for another rant.)