The Beyonce Bicycle

Since I pick on other people, its only fair for me to pick on myself from time to time too. Besides, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at.


As many of you know, I am a horrible dancer.

Recently, several of my friends decided to hold a 'dance intervention.' ............... Yes, I'm that bad....fortunately for me, nobody has managed to capture me on video, to the best of my knowledge....and no, that is not a dare. So don't bother walking around with your video camera ready to go. This poor guy however, was not so lucky.....and before you laugh too much...I think I may have stolen a move or two from him. Just to give you a visual....



At first, I tried to blame it on my friends....you know, they are the ones who hauled my ass on the dance floor. But they claim that when they went to sit down, I insisted that I should carrying on the shit show, by myself. I'd like to publicly thank all of them for leaving me to dance like an idiot by my lonesome. THANK YOU!

Apparently...though, it gets worse. Since I am such a crappy dancer, I apparently only have a signature move that I repeat...non-stop. One that has been termed "The Beyonce Bicycle." Now I threw 'Beyonce' in there myself, in the hopes of classing it up a bit, but rest assured, its bad....really bad. In fact, when sober, I'm not completely sure of precisely how I do it, but it starts out with an arm chugging motion (think enacting a train to a 3 year old.)....and then I throw the legs on in there. And really...its all downhill from there.

So, recently my friends informed me of my atrocious dance moves....I could do nothing...but be thoroughly embarrassed. Then I was invited by a friend to a dance class....yes....I'm that bad. But I figured that really, I had nothing to lose, so why not try it out. So I've been in class for several weeks now....and all I have to say is...... Look out!!! If my dance move (s) were bad before....I have simply learned some even more ridiculous looking moves.

My new repertoire includes (but is not limited to) .... the cabbage patch, Saturday night fever, some move with leg kicks....and a few bad ass hip hop moves. (which I am almost guaranteed to screw up.) So keep your eyes open...you never know when you may see me at my finest.....




Also...while on the topic of dancing. The possibilities are endless....and this is sheer genius. I wish that everywhere that sold liquor also had treadmills....you can be sure I'd be all over this at 2:00 am.






Can't beat the dude in the back on the elliptical...completely oblivious to the awesomeness going on in front of him. FYI, this is a parody of Ok Go - Here it goes again....you can check out the original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA



I'll be keeping my eye out for camcorders where ever alcohol is served.