My house has been invaded but the flu bug. The pukey, crappy flu. Luckily the newest addition and I managed to not contract this illness, but the other two did.
The Truth About Puke:
No matter how much you hope, wish, and say "don't puke on the carpet," you child will undoubtedly puke on the carpet.
No matter how hard you try to "catch" puke, it is relatively impossible....infact, it'a a lose/lose situation. Even if you win and manage to "catch" the puke, you are still in fact holding puke.
No matter how close you are to the toilet and/or puke pail, not all of it will end up in said catching device. In fact, if carpet is anywhere near, the puke will end up there instead.
Do not trust your child when they claim they are feeling "a bit" better. Keep them off the carpet. Round 2 will start soon enough.
Puke is nasty.
I'm off for round 2 of disinfecting.
Showing posts with label yuck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yuck. Show all posts
Monday, November 21, 2011
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Word of the Day
Last week I was chit chatting with Wendy-Loo Wallaby Lover when she asked "Do you know what a P.A.N.N.I.S.is?"
"Uh...no...." I replied.
"Really, you don't know?"
"Nope, do you mean PANINIS?" I said, because truthfully we were out for lunch and both eating panini's and really only one letter off of the word she had spelled out.
"No, I don't mean Panini, I mean Pannis."
"Wendy, are you trying to be coy and talk about penis'...because we're both grown ups and can discuss that stuff now."
"No, I don't mean penis....I mean Pannis!"
"Oh, well in that case. no. I still don't know what that is."
"You should write about it...you know in your next blog thingy." Wendy-Loo said.
And that is how today's blog post was born....plus I think Wendy really wanted her own name on here. (To which she said she didn't want Wendy Wallaby ...so it's now Wendy-Loo Wallaby Lover....and I gave her 3 minutes to change it, but she suggested the girl who told you to write about Pannis....which has absolutely NO PANACHE at all!)
So....onto the word at hand...
PANNIS.
I decided that I best google it.....and I should have had Wendy Loo clarify a bit, because whoa....(Joey Lawrence throwback there) ...there are a lot of meanings for the word pannis.
a)An important tribe in Afghanistan lasting to the time of Sikandar Lodi.
b)Pannis is the flab of skin that hangs BELOW the belly button and above the va-j-j. (thanks Urban dictionary!)
c)These are the sad eyed water goddesses that take the dead to the bottom of the water to dwell with them in their crystal castles (WTF?)
d)a severe condition almost only seen in German Shepherds. The disease manifests itself with granulation (fleshy growth) tissue developing on the cornea
e) penis...only spelled incorrectly
Wendy-Loo already ruled out e) that leaves me with 4 to pick from. Since she is a medical professional of sorts, I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that she meant b)
Eww...Thanks Wendy-Loo.
Now, this is new information to me....I didn't know that zone had a medical name or that a tummy tuck was Pannis Removal Surgery. I think I'll still be referring to it as a tummy tuck. Truthfully I always thought that zone had a different name...one that, well...isn't very nice to say. So I won't.
OK...who am I kidding. I thought it was called a gunt....because it was halfway between a gut and a .....well you can figure that out on your own.
Did you know what a pannis was??!? or am I the only one left in the dark....
and by the way Wendy-Loo a Wallaby and Kangaroo look kind of similar to me....here's my proof.
wallaby source kangaroo source
"Uh...no...." I replied.
"Really, you don't know?"
"Nope, do you mean PANINIS?" I said, because truthfully we were out for lunch and both eating panini's and really only one letter off of the word she had spelled out.
"No, I don't mean Panini, I mean Pannis."
"Wendy, are you trying to be coy and talk about penis'...because we're both grown ups and can discuss that stuff now."
"No, I don't mean penis....I mean Pannis!"
"Oh, well in that case. no. I still don't know what that is."
"You should write about it...you know in your next blog thingy." Wendy-Loo said.
And that is how today's blog post was born....plus I think Wendy really wanted her own name on here. (To which she said she didn't want Wendy Wallaby ...so it's now Wendy-Loo Wallaby Lover....and I gave her 3 minutes to change it, but she suggested the girl who told you to write about Pannis....which has absolutely NO PANACHE at all!)
So....onto the word at hand...
PANNIS.
I decided that I best google it.....and I should have had Wendy Loo clarify a bit, because whoa....(Joey Lawrence throwback there) ...there are a lot of meanings for the word pannis.
a)An important tribe in Afghanistan lasting to the time of Sikandar Lodi.
b)Pannis is the flab of skin that hangs BELOW the belly button and above the va-j-j. (thanks Urban dictionary!)
c)These are the sad eyed water goddesses that take the dead to the bottom of the water to dwell with them in their crystal castles (WTF?)
d)a severe condition almost only seen in German Shepherds. The disease manifests itself with granulation (fleshy growth) tissue developing on the cornea
e) penis...only spelled incorrectly
Wendy-Loo already ruled out e) that leaves me with 4 to pick from. Since she is a medical professional of sorts, I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that she meant b)
Eww...Thanks Wendy-Loo.
Now, this is new information to me....I didn't know that zone had a medical name or that a tummy tuck was Pannis Removal Surgery. I think I'll still be referring to it as a tummy tuck. Truthfully I always thought that zone had a different name...one that, well...isn't very nice to say. So I won't.
OK...who am I kidding. I thought it was called a gunt....because it was halfway between a gut and a .....well you can figure that out on your own.
Did you know what a pannis was??!? or am I the only one left in the dark....
and by the way Wendy-Loo a Wallaby and Kangaroo look kind of similar to me....here's my proof.
wallaby source kangaroo source
Sunday, September 12, 2010
It's Not You, It's Me
Yes,
It's true.
I've been avoiding you.
Really, all of you. I can't seem to think of anything even remotely amusing to write about, so I've been avoiding my blog. Well that isn't going to get me anywhere, so I've decided, I'll just bore you with my daily activities. You know, the ones I've been doing while avoiding all of you.
a)I've cleaned out my fridge. I hate doing this....almost as much as I hate my other household chores. But its clean....I've still been avoiding the freezer however....Hmmm I see a pattern developing here.
b) I decided I'd become a vegan. But when I realized they didn't eat cheese, I said "screw it." I thought maybe a vegetarian seemed a little more lax, but then I remembered about the half a cow that my husband ordered that's sitting in my deep freeze, so burgers it was. That and being a Vegetarian Albertan is the biggest oxymoron ever. (Yes, I can see you all snickering about the half a cow in my deep freeze, a) its way cheaper than buying beef at the store...and yes its already portioned into steaks and ground beef and such and b) nobody was more disgusted than me when I came across a parcel labelled "tongue"....WTF I refuse to taste anything that can taste me back.)
c) I started to work on the Picaboo book for my parents....they went on vacation and took 3420 pictures. No I am not exaggerating. Its nearly crashed my computer twice and Picaboo keeps sending me messages that say "Picaboo works best with 300 pictures or less." Well Picaboo...that's your problem... You can phone my parents, they are obviously camera happy. In fact, wouldn't you make more money Picaboo, if I had to make a 284 page book to fit all their pictures in?
d) I've been busy Granny-sitting. My husband's Grandma broke her hip, so she's staying with my in-laws for a bit. I was the designated granny-sitter the other day, so I spent the whole day with her. It was actually pretty good. Especially when she said "I'm surprised he can do that many things at once...you know, he fried his brain pretty good with all those drugs." 83 year old woman saying this....priceless.
e) I've been busy hanging out at the playground. This is what moms do. No, its not exciting, but you do get to see who doesn't even bother to shower and change out of their pajama's when they take their kids to school....yeah...not that exciting.
f) I've been planning my Halloween costume....I can't decide between Geisha, Poison Ivy, Yip Yip Aliens from Sesame street, or 50's housewife. And no, I'm not one of those females who turns every possible outfit into trashy skank outfit either.
So...there you go.
That has been my week while trying to beat this writer's block.
What's your vote for the Halloween costume?
It's true.
I've been avoiding you.
Really, all of you. I can't seem to think of anything even remotely amusing to write about, so I've been avoiding my blog. Well that isn't going to get me anywhere, so I've decided, I'll just bore you with my daily activities. You know, the ones I've been doing while avoiding all of you.
a)I've cleaned out my fridge. I hate doing this....almost as much as I hate my other household chores. But its clean....I've still been avoiding the freezer however....Hmmm I see a pattern developing here.
b) I decided I'd become a vegan. But when I realized they didn't eat cheese, I said "screw it." I thought maybe a vegetarian seemed a little more lax, but then I remembered about the half a cow that my husband ordered that's sitting in my deep freeze, so burgers it was. That and being a Vegetarian Albertan is the biggest oxymoron ever. (Yes, I can see you all snickering about the half a cow in my deep freeze, a) its way cheaper than buying beef at the store...and yes its already portioned into steaks and ground beef and such and b) nobody was more disgusted than me when I came across a parcel labelled "tongue"....WTF I refuse to taste anything that can taste me back.)
d) I've been busy Granny-sitting. My husband's Grandma broke her hip, so she's staying with my in-laws for a bit. I was the designated granny-sitter the other day, so I spent the whole day with her. It was actually pretty good. Especially when she said "I'm surprised he can do that many things at once...you know, he fried his brain pretty good with all those drugs." 83 year old woman saying this....priceless.
e) I've been busy hanging out at the playground. This is what moms do. No, its not exciting, but you do get to see who doesn't even bother to shower and change out of their pajama's when they take their kids to school....yeah...not that exciting.
f) I've been planning my Halloween costume....I can't decide between Geisha, Poison Ivy, Yip Yip Aliens from Sesame street, or 50's housewife. And no, I'm not one of those females who turns every possible outfit into trashy skank outfit either.
So...there you go.
That has been my week while trying to beat this writer's block.
What's your vote for the Halloween costume?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I'm A Poser With A Lawn Mower
I can almost hear Angela Apple Bottom insisting "that's what you get for being a poser." Since she does remind me of this every time I decide that I am going to reinvent myself. She said it when I went out and got workout gear and some brand new cute Nike's, and decided that I was a runner....oh and I needed an Ipod shuffle. When she asked why one of my other Ipod's wouldn't do, I insisted that they were too big, and that if I was really going to be a runner that I would need to have a shuffle. Because everyone knows that a good runner has a shuffle and if they don't, I bet they wish they did. Angela laughed out loud and told me she'd see, but that she was willing to bet that this running thing wasn't long lived. She was right, which brings me to my newest reinvention: Environmental Activist....or at least Lover of the Environment.
For several years now, I have been whining to my husband that I think we need an old-fashioned lawn mower. I told him that in my opinion they are way better for the environment and they have the added bonus of being quieter. He did not share this opinion with me. In fact, in order to show me just how much he disagreed, he bought some big ugly yellow monstrosity, which I think is the biggest frickin' lawn mower you can get without it being self-propelled.
So recently, he caved. He told me that if I really thought it was such a hot idea, we'd get one, but that I'd have to mow the lawn (and that we were keeping the big ugly one for when he has to inevitably mow the lawn, because I quickly lose ambition on these sorts of outdoor tasks.)
At the time, this seemed like a great freakin' idea (I'm full of 'em) so I was a little smug, thinkin' that we should've done this years ago. And just imagine all the gas that we could have saved, had we started years ago.
Then he kindly mowed the lawn with his lawnmower so that I didn't have to hack down the amazon jungle that was our front yard with my new one. He then gathered a small audience to watch me mow the lawn.(Yes, right after he mowed it....and technically the audience was one friend, but it sounds more dramatic with several ....so just imagine.)
Well...whose smart idea was this ridiculous lawn mower? (Right, it was mine....unfortunately)
I am a fruit loop. Seriously....I was sweating...and FYI, I have a self- proclaimed allergy to sweat...which could've been a factor in my failure to be a runner. Aside from the few cackles and "I've never even seen one of those in person."...it wasn't horribly embarrassing...but it was beyond difficult.
(Yes, for dramatic effect, I included a sweaty shot of 2 of the Jo Bros. in hopes of you being so turned off that their popularity plummets and I don't have to listen to them ever again, including from my 4 year old.)
This isn't just a workout....it is torture....but I keep pepping myself up with my little talk about being environmentally friendly...we'll see how long it lasts.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I will have to mow the lawn every other day...otherwise it will be unmanageable...But on the plus side I have never been so thankful to have a lawn with quack grass and pee spots (from the dog...in case you thought otherwise.) In fact, quack grass is so much easier to mow that I'm considering ripping up the sodded backyard and encouraging quack grass growth...either that or perhaps paving it.
So...I'll see....maybe it'll get easier....like the whole, if you shave your hair, it grows back finer thing....(yes, I know that technically thats not true...but let me have my pipe dream.) Plus...technically I'm still using my mower....so there Angela Apple Bottom...perhaps I've found my calling as an Environmental Activist Extrodinaire...then again....I always wanted to be a rockstar...hmmm.
For several years now, I have been whining to my husband that I think we need an old-fashioned lawn mower. I told him that in my opinion they are way better for the environment and they have the added bonus of being quieter. He did not share this opinion with me. In fact, in order to show me just how much he disagreed, he bought some big ugly yellow monstrosity, which I think is the biggest frickin' lawn mower you can get without it being self-propelled.So recently, he caved. He told me that if I really thought it was such a hot idea, we'd get one, but that I'd have to mow the lawn (and that we were keeping the big ugly one for when he has to inevitably mow the lawn, because I quickly lose ambition on these sorts of outdoor tasks.)
At the time, this seemed like a great freakin' idea (I'm full of 'em) so I was a little smug, thinkin' that we should've done this years ago. And just imagine all the gas that we could have saved, had we started years ago.Then he kindly mowed the lawn with his lawnmower so that I didn't have to hack down the amazon jungle that was our front yard with my new one. He then gathered a small audience to watch me mow the lawn.(Yes, right after he mowed it....and technically the audience was one friend, but it sounds more dramatic with several ....so just imagine.)
Well...whose smart idea was this ridiculous lawn mower? (Right, it was mine....unfortunately)
I am a fruit loop. Seriously....I was sweating...and FYI, I have a self- proclaimed allergy to sweat...which could've been a factor in my failure to be a runner. Aside from the few cackles and "I've never even seen one of those in person."...it wasn't horribly embarrassing...but it was beyond difficult.
(Yes, for dramatic effect, I included a sweaty shot of 2 of the Jo Bros. in hopes of you being so turned off that their popularity plummets and I don't have to listen to them ever again, including from my 4 year old.)This isn't just a workout....it is torture....but I keep pepping myself up with my little talk about being environmentally friendly...we'll see how long it lasts.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I will have to mow the lawn every other day...otherwise it will be unmanageable...But on the plus side I have never been so thankful to have a lawn with quack grass and pee spots (from the dog...in case you thought otherwise.) In fact, quack grass is so much easier to mow that I'm considering ripping up the sodded backyard and encouraging quack grass growth...either that or perhaps paving it.
So...I'll see....maybe it'll get easier....like the whole, if you shave your hair, it grows back finer thing....(yes, I know that technically thats not true...but let me have my pipe dream.) Plus...technically I'm still using my mower....so there Angela Apple Bottom...perhaps I've found my calling as an Environmental Activist Extrodinaire...then again....I always wanted to be a rockstar...hmmm.
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