Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy OHWW

Because no Junior High School dance was complete without this gem....

that and to make it complete, you'd need that nerdy boy doing some bizarre sort of moonwalk and ocean motion hand gestures down the length of the gym.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Truth About Puke

My house has been invaded but the flu bug.  The pukey, crappy flu.  Luckily the newest addition and I managed to not contract this illness, but the other two did.

The Truth About Puke:

No matter how much you hope, wish, and say "don't puke on the carpet," you child will undoubtedly puke on the carpet.

No matter how hard you try to "catch" puke, it is relatively impossible....infact, it'a a lose/lose situation.  Even if you win and manage to "catch" the puke, you are still in fact holding puke.

No matter how close you are to the toilet and/or puke pail, not all of it will end up in said catching device.  In fact, if carpet is anywhere near, the puke will end up there instead.

Do not trust your child when they claim they are feeling "a bit" better.  Keep them off the carpet.  Round 2 will start soon enough.

Puke is nasty.

I'm off for round 2 of disinfecting.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Happy One Hit Wonder Wednesday (OHWW)

For some time now, I have had this Wednesday activity where  Freddie Funnypants and I post one hit wonders on each others facebook walls.

Since everyone who's cool enjoys a good one hit wonder, I thought I'd start sharing them with you.  That's right...I'm gonna start my own meme...or whatever they call 'em. (or I guess it doesn't count really if you just started it and nobody pays attention...hmmm)

First of all Freddie had requested the blog name Wang Chuck....I considered it, really I did.  But
a) that's sort of blasphemous to Chuck Norris
b) it reminds me far too much of this song:  (Which will be our very first OHW)

And here is the breakdown for you:

Like every good 80's video I'm pretty sure that all that constant flashing and switching of images could bring on a seizure (Epileptic's beware:  I'm giving the warning out of the goodness of my heart...seriously).  Although I must say that I am a wee bit disappointed in the lack of neon is with the boring tan background and black outfits.  Its only saving grace is the shoulder pads on the guitar player and the dude with the white and green shirt with the cowboy hat (although he doesn't get nearly the screen time he deserves.)

Bonus points for you if you know any lines other than
"Everybody have fun tonight....Everybody wang chung tonight"
I'm not sure what precisely wang chung-ing is.....but really is anyone?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Apparently I'm Not Done Picking On Dogs Yet....and The Potential Proof of Evolution Through Lady Parts.

I like making ridiculously long titles, just so you are forced to come over here to read the rest of it.
(Also, I thought putting Uterus in the title was tacky....who am I kidding?!)

Last night, I just happened to be hanging with the baby at 2:30 a.m., when I heard this creepy noise at the door. It was freaky. I had just let the dog out (yes, he's still giving me the silent treatment) that left one of two options

A) A serial killer had killed my dog and was now toying with me in hopes that I would walk outside, directly into his trap.

B) It was the dog.

Since I've seen my share of scary movies, I decided to go out the front door to investigate the goings on at the other door.

Guess what...

It was the f*#%ing dog! Digging through the garbage....because of course, I have nothing better to do than to pick that crap up during daylight hours. I had kinda thought he was still pissed off about the whole wig thing (which I'm still laughing about), but this seals it. He's apparently still beyond pissy.

He's been warned about this behaviour...yet it continues.

I've Informed him that if he keeps this 'tude up, I'll have no choice but to recreate this photo that I scooped off of Pinterest with him as the main subject.

 He didn't look impressed, so I'm hoping that I got my point across. Don't dig in the freaking garbage!!!

(secretly I'm hoping that he keeps the attitude up - that picture is hilarious...but don't tell him that.)

Also, in other baby related news, the Duggar's are expecting their 20th baby. Shhh...listen carefully, you can hear her uterus weeping from here.   Never mind, that's my uterus giving hers sympathy cries. Seriously though, my uterus would have fled the scene about 15 babies back. If ever there were an argument for evolution, this is it. Just wait, a few more babies and that uterus is gonna grow itself some feet and a heartbeat and run away as fast as it can.

Monday, November 7, 2011

How To Know If Your Dog is a Christian....

I'm not picking on dogs.

I know that it seems like I am....especially once you read this post, but honestly, I love dogs (ok...83% of the time.)

Anyways, I have a cousin (yes. It's true, actually, I have several)

This cousin is a devoted Christian.  The other day he asks on Facebook,

"How do you know if your dog accepts Christ?"

I kindly wrote him back that "the only way to know for sure is this:..."

I don't think he appreciated it.

If your looking for me, I'll be in confession and most likely sentenced to 52 "Hail Mary's" and 48 "Our Father's"  for posting this...
by the way, my dog is still not impressed with me about the wig thing....still (he's such a grudge holder!)