Kemo Treats: THE VIDEO

 I've been waiting patiently for this top secret video that Kemo Treats had been promising.  I couldn't make it to the unveiling (which I was actually invited to...that's right...special invite.)

so here it is:


Well I must say...
firstly I was a little disappointed that it wasn't a vid for Ice Cream Man....because that is my fave.  But I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I had a slight rebellious phase as a teenager where I listened to rap and I watched rap videos, so I think that makes me qualified to critique this. I listened to all the masters, ICP, Wu-Tang Clan.... (OK...so I didn't listen to WTC, but Ol' Dirty Bastard did a remix with Mariah Carey...I'm sure that counts.....right?)

Anyways, Kemo Treats' The Program has exactly what every good legit gangsta video has.

1) It has two foolishly/stylishly (depending on your view) dressed "gangstas"

2) It has the eye candy.  She's pretty.  But just so you know guys....real gangsta vid's feature even more scantily clad women.  ... next time, throw her in a bubble bath...

3) It has some fly wheels....I mean....it's a Toyota....it doesn't get much more real "gangsta" than that! (well, at least not in Edmonton)

4) It has a bit of auto tune....not enough.  You MUST have an auto tune interlude every 47 seconds.

5) It's got the GOWLD as they like to call it.  They're rocking their chains...shirtless of course, and well...one of 'em has a hairy chest....hey, 1977 called.

6) They throw swear words around.  It is common knowledge that you absolutely cannot have a legit gangsta vid without dropping MoFo.

7) It had the whole levels thing going on.  Watch any rap video and you'll know what I'm talking about. You've gotta be in the face of the camera...then back it up.  Drop down low....slide back.



and Kemo Treats....if this doesn't work out ...you gangstas can always call up P!nk.


*and seriously...you aren't counting ODB remix with Mariah as rap....ugh.