Odd Girl Out

Sometimes, I just don't fit in here.

I know what you are all thinking...How is that possible?! A girl as stylish (haha) and trendy (even funnier) as you?  You've lived there most of your life?

Well it's true. I don't fit in this time of year....and it has nothing to do with being stylish or trendy.

The other day on the playground I overheard this conversation (and don't be giving me the side eye about eavesdropping, they were yelling across the playground.)

"So, did you get something today?"

Naturally, I assume that something is an order....because around here they are weekly happenings....you know an order for tupperware, sex toys (if you live around Calgary...here's the best party to get and she's one of my regular peeps on here...so maybe you can talk her into divulging her nickname), or scrapbooking supplies.  Yes, that's what The Real Housewives of Western Canada do.

But no, they weren't talking about sandwich containers, embossing powder, or glow in the dark lubricants.

Here was the answer shouted across the playground

"Yeah, I got myself a nice Whitetail mule-ly"

"Sweet"

Here....all I can think about is poor Bambi....
I sulk over to the other side of the playground so that I don't have to hear the  play by play of the murder....or see pictures.

source

I'm not a hunter...or really outdoorswoman-y (ha...that's putting it mildly),

Yet plenty of the girls around town are...and there are no less than 3 pictures of ladies with their dead deer on my facebook page at any given time during hunting season.  Truthfully, I never know when hunting season is...until the pictures start popping up.

What goes on around where you live that you just can't get on board with?

Zoo-tacular

This past weekend, we had a big family outing to the zoo.

Now the Calgary Zoo is one of the best zoo's in the world. Actually, they always say that, but when I googled to see what it ranked, it didn't say. It wasn't on Forbes, top 15 list, so obviously, it must be number 16, which is still pretty good, right?! Although, I'm sure that they lost a few points for the incident last year when some drunken fool decided they wanted some quality time with the Siberian Tiger, and ended up with a few less limbs than they had before their playdate with the wild.

photo: Todd Korol, Reuters

Yes, and for those of you who are saying its old news, you're right, that happened in October last year. Apparently they were drunk, which makes it all make sense. Because no person in their right mind would scale the enclosure to hang with the tigers close up, unless they were drunk.

This year fortunately, I didn't have to hike my ass the 15km around the Canadian portion of the zoo...(which quite honestly, if you live in rural Alberta is a waste...think, deer, elk, goats, etc.) Several years ago, they used to have a small restaurant that served beer and coolers and such at the very end of the Canadian trail. The first time we went, my husband insisted on hiking the gazillion miles over there, so he could see a beaver in captivity....you know...since he had only ever seen beavers in the wild...ha ha....(his idea of a hilarious joke.) So we forged ahead and were rewarded with treats and booze at the end of the trip.

The next time, I was cranky, pregnant and in the midst of morning sickness, when he and my daughter insisted that we must go see a deer. Ha ha....quite seriously, if I wanted to see a deer, I could do so on any f*&%ing day of the week, they are that common. So it was two against one, knowing full well that he had simply talked the 2 year old into this excitement about a deer to get to the little cafe at the other end. Well, my sickly ass trekked all the way there....and guess what....they had closed the cafe! So this time, when my then 2 year old, now nearly 5 five year old started up about seeing a moose in captivity (also rather common around Alberta)....I had to be the grinch and tell her that there was no way that was going to happen. ....instead, I bribed her with the old.."You choose...go see the moose or go to Chuck E. Cheese"....in retrospect, perhaps I should've chose the moose....or...... brought extra hand sanitizer.