Canada Needs A New Holiday

Canada is technically a relatively new country. maybe that's why....

We have no exciting original holidays.

And yes, I know we have plenty of other holidays...but plenty of other places have Christmas, Halloween, Easter, and Thanksgiving.

I got to thinking last week when all of my UK blogger peeps were talking about Guy Hawkes Day. (Check out the festivities over a Mrs. Midnite if you'd like)

That's right. They have a holiday...one that involves fire and fireworks to commemorate

well, basically a terrorist attack.  Guy Fawkes and his posse wanted to oust the protestant King and put in a Catholic one. 

So why not make it a holiday.  My thoughts exactly!

The Mexicans get Cinqo de Mayo (yet another holiday derived from a battle)
The Chinese have Qing Ming (and another bazillion neat holidays) - OK...it's really not that exciting, but it's a holiday none the less to go and sweep the tombs of their ancestors.

Here in Canada...we don't have any of these holidays.  I suppose it can be argued thatsince we are multicultural there are people in Canada who celebrate these holidays here.

That's not what I'm looking for.  We need our own exciting holiday.  Yet another reason to party, have fireworks, and altogether drink to much alcohol. (or not...if that's not your style)

As you can tell I've been thinking...

a) Snow day - pick a day...and no it can't be "Family Day" because half the provinces don't even get that holiday.  But it can be a whole day centered around fun in the snow.

yes, I know it's ridiculously lame.

We need something more exciting. (and preferably in the hotter months)
and I suppose that technically we should base it on historical significance.  I mean that's what the rest of the countries did.

 Laura Secord Day - She was historically significant....and now she represents a candy store.  We could have a day off and gorge our selves on chocolates.

Brian Mulroney Day - basically you'd get the day off to sit on your ass and accomplish nothing.  oh...and you'd have to get paid for it too.

or maybe

 October Crisis Day - but then again, the rest of us Canadian would rather forget about that. 

So what new National Holiday do you think should Canada have?

A Zillion Answers...Well Actually 14

Ok....

So fantastic Scrappin'Amber (over at Amber: Kick Ass Wife, Cool Ass friend and All Around Awesome Chick........ ) has kicked my ass in an arm wrestling contest, so I have to answer these questions.  But seriously, she nominated me...so yeah, I do as I'm told.


1. If you could spend the rest of your life doing only one thing, what would that be?

I was going to say swimming, but that leads to alot of wrinkly skin, or maybe driving, because I like to do that too, but that would lead to a sore back I think.  So I'll say ranting at people for money.  (don't knock it til you've tried it!)

2. What is the best thing you can bake/cook:  Crunchie Cheesecake....but I'm pretty good at cooking just about anything....other than cookies. (Don't ask me why, they are never quite right)...or that cake I made that my sister never lets me live down....ok...I put in too much gelatin...cut me some slack!

3. What household chore is your least favorite? Dishes....or picking up dog poop (yes, I realize that's outside, but its still a chore...so too bad.)

4. If you could bring three things to a deserted island, what would they be? A lifetime supply of Pepsi, A hat...(I have a tendency to get too much sun and be sick), and a boat. (is that cheating?)

5. What's the next big thing you are thinking about splurging on? Hmmm...well since I just repainted, I informed my hubby that we now need new flooring and furniture...so maybe....a little wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

6. Post a current photo

WHAT???  Now people will know that I don't look like a rainbow with a little m....
fine....party pooper.

7. If you could have ANY pet EVER, what/who would it be? I like Bing...our dog...he's good. (I did have that post about monkey's but apparently thats a no.)   Or an elephant...they look cool...but imagine the poop I'd have to pick up!

 
8. Who is your favorite musician/band and why? Silverchair...because Daniel Johns is hot....yeah...and their music is pretty sweet too...but basically he's hot.  Wow...I'm ridiculously shallow.

9. What celebrity annoys you the most and why?  Seriously....Barbara Walters....Who died and made her God....wait she's Jewish....does she believe in God?  I'm getting all my religions mixed up ever since I started praying to JesusAllahKrishnaVishnuYahweh.  But yeah, I have little to no patience for her...but she's a snazzy dresser for being 87...what  she's 94?  No shit  (just kidding, really, she's 80 right now...and yes, she looks good, but she weilds too much power...malevolently...thats right, look it up.)

Photo: Evan Agostini / AP

Source: AP

10. What has been your biggest letdown lately?  The color I painted my house...I swear it looked greyish blue....but now I feel as though I am in a senior lodge with a pastel lilac color ....everywhere...all I need is a set of dentures by the sink a few Depends and you'd never know the difference.

11. Worst job you have ever had and why?  Tree farm....I worked for two months when I was a teenager at this little tree farm.  I had to roll up 15 little trees in saran wrap...my hands were so sore...they were permanently half curled for those 2 months.  Shitty job.

12. Guilty pleasures?   Seriously...you don't want to know.  Pepsi....chips...and hollandaise sauce  (its on top of Eggs Benedict.)  It looks gross, but its so good....and you can hear your arteries clogging while you eat it.

And maybe wine...but only white wine...and really only Dr. ZenZen.

13. The last argument you had with someone - what was it about? 
My 4 year old wanting a Chihuahua.

4yo: I want a Chihuahua
ME: no
4yo:  I want a Chihuaha....NOW. (Little balled fists and stamping feet.)
Me:  no, Veruca Salt....now get in the truck
4yo:  Thats not my name...and I still don't have a Chihuahua

Me:  I noticed.

(And she wanted to name the Chihuahua...DAVE...really!?  That is totally not a chihuahua name...You have to name a chihuahua like Pepito or Taco or SkippyJon Jones.)

Source

14. What would be something you would NEVER do, even if someone paid you a shit ton of money?  Aside from the obvious answer of I wouldn't kill anyone, I don't think I'd ever want anything to do with Coca-Cola....thats right...everyone has standards....and I refuse to drink/work for/ be paid to promote anything to do with that nasty drink.

So there you have it....a bunch of answers to questions that you never wanted me to answer.

So, now I must pass it along to seven people...

(I've tried to not double up from Scrappy's list)

Pennyclad  - Venfrippery....with a name like that you have to check out the blog!

Allegra - Fonzie was Six Four...go ahead take a peek!

Clare Actman - The Clare Actman Files

Kate - Hotdishing

Jessica Catalano - The Ganga Kitchen Revolution

CKrets Galore - Kick her right in the Habit (and no, its not about nuns!)

Nicole Jilted and Starting Over

ok...I'm supposed to give you 7 more questions...and I will,  but how about you pick 10 or so out of all the questions and answer them.

1. What is your favorite belonging?

2.What is your favorite drink?

3.  What was your first memory?

4. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

5.  What are your feelings about Wal-Mart?

6. Who was your favorite celeb when you were 12?

7.  What are the worst traits to have in a friend?

Butter Ripple's Route

OK...So Butter Ripple Liquorlips is rackin' up the air miles fast.  Next week, she has decided to take a trip to Florida.  She is driving down and then flying back and has planned it out to take about 10 days.

Now granted, I am not much of a USA buff.  Yes, we have to learn about all of the States back in Grade 5, but truthfully, I never really kept up with it.  (After I was horribly mocked for calling Arkansas  AR...KANSAS...you know like the pirate version of Kansas....ARRR-KANSAS... I lost interest....seriously, that is a true story.)   I know where most of the coastal states are, but in truth, if its in the interior, I haven't a clue as to where each state is. 

Butter Ripple has mapped her way out as follows. (Obviously, she too is more comfortable with the coastal states.)  In order to pay the most money for fuel in the history of a trip to Florida she will be back tracking several times.  Yes....she's crazy (....this diagnosis is not confirmed.)

I have kindly mapped out an alternative route (once again, I'm  nice like that),  but she insists that you never hear of crazy shit going on in Wyoming or Nebraska (which is true...I think, but then again, I don't keep up on all the hot goss over there.)  That and I think that she's afraid that if she goes to Utah she'll turn into a Mormon and love to scrapbook...which doesn't sound horrible to me, but for Butter Ripple, it's a fate worse than death.  (Her name is Butter Ripple Liquorlips for a reason!)  That said, I told her that she couldn't miss Kansas...hello...ruby slippers anyone.  But she informed me that she didn't care for Toto, so there you go. 

So in true Butter Ripple fashion, she will be hitting all the hot spots that serve booze...and lots of it.  On second thought, maybe that isn't such a bad way to plan a trip.

Zoo-tacular

This past weekend, we had a big family outing to the zoo.

Now the Calgary Zoo is one of the best zoo's in the world. Actually, they always say that, but when I googled to see what it ranked, it didn't say. It wasn't on Forbes, top 15 list, so obviously, it must be number 16, which is still pretty good, right?! Although, I'm sure that they lost a few points for the incident last year when some drunken fool decided they wanted some quality time with the Siberian Tiger, and ended up with a few less limbs than they had before their playdate with the wild.

photo: Todd Korol, Reuters

Yes, and for those of you who are saying its old news, you're right, that happened in October last year. Apparently they were drunk, which makes it all make sense. Because no person in their right mind would scale the enclosure to hang with the tigers close up, unless they were drunk.

This year fortunately, I didn't have to hike my ass the 15km around the Canadian portion of the zoo...(which quite honestly, if you live in rural Alberta is a waste...think, deer, elk, goats, etc.) Several years ago, they used to have a small restaurant that served beer and coolers and such at the very end of the Canadian trail. The first time we went, my husband insisted on hiking the gazillion miles over there, so he could see a beaver in captivity....you know...since he had only ever seen beavers in the wild...ha ha....(his idea of a hilarious joke.) So we forged ahead and were rewarded with treats and booze at the end of the trip.

The next time, I was cranky, pregnant and in the midst of morning sickness, when he and my daughter insisted that we must go see a deer. Ha ha....quite seriously, if I wanted to see a deer, I could do so on any f*&%ing day of the week, they are that common. So it was two against one, knowing full well that he had simply talked the 2 year old into this excitement about a deer to get to the little cafe at the other end. Well, my sickly ass trekked all the way there....and guess what....they had closed the cafe! So this time, when my then 2 year old, now nearly 5 five year old started up about seeing a moose in captivity (also rather common around Alberta)....I had to be the grinch and tell her that there was no way that was going to happen. ....instead, I bribed her with the old.."You choose...go see the moose or go to Chuck E. Cheese"....in retrospect, perhaps I should've chose the moose....or...... brought extra hand sanitizer.