OK...So Butter Ripple Liquorlips is rackin' up the air miles fast. Next week, she has decided to take a trip to Florida. She is driving down and then flying back and has planned it out to take about 10 days.
Now granted, I am not much of a USA buff. Yes, we have to learn about all of the States back in Grade 5, but truthfully, I never really kept up with it. (After I was horribly mocked for calling Arkansas AR...KANSAS...you know like the pirate version of Kansas....ARRR-KANSAS... I lost interest....seriously, that is a true story.) I know where most of the coastal states are, but in truth, if its in the interior, I haven't a clue as to where each state is.
Butter Ripple has mapped her way out as follows. (Obviously, she too is more comfortable with the coastal states.) In order to pay the most money for fuel in the history of a trip to Florida she will be back tracking several times. Yes....she's crazy (....this diagnosis is not confirmed.)
I have kindly mapped out an alternative route (once again, I'm nice like that), but she insists that you never hear of crazy shit going on in Wyoming or Nebraska (which is true...I think, but then again, I don't keep up on all the hot goss over there.) That and I think that she's afraid that if she goes to Utah she'll turn into a Mormon and love to scrapbook...which doesn't sound horrible to me, but for Butter Ripple, it's a fate worse than death. (Her name is Butter Ripple Liquorlips for a reason!) That said, I told her that she couldn't miss Kansas...hello...ruby slippers anyone. But she informed me that she didn't care for Toto, so there you go.
So in true Butter Ripple fashion, she will be hitting all the hot spots that serve booze...and lots of it. On second thought, maybe that isn't such a bad way to plan a trip.