Zoo-tacular

This past weekend, we had a big family outing to the zoo.

Now the Calgary Zoo is one of the best zoo's in the world. Actually, they always say that, but when I googled to see what it ranked, it didn't say. It wasn't on Forbes, top 15 list, so obviously, it must be number 16, which is still pretty good, right?! Although, I'm sure that they lost a few points for the incident last year when some drunken fool decided they wanted some quality time with the Siberian Tiger, and ended up with a few less limbs than they had before their playdate with the wild.

photo: Todd Korol, Reuters

Yes, and for those of you who are saying its old news, you're right, that happened in October last year. Apparently they were drunk, which makes it all make sense. Because no person in their right mind would scale the enclosure to hang with the tigers close up, unless they were drunk.

This year fortunately, I didn't have to hike my ass the 15km around the Canadian portion of the zoo...(which quite honestly, if you live in rural Alberta is a waste...think, deer, elk, goats, etc.) Several years ago, they used to have a small restaurant that served beer and coolers and such at the very end of the Canadian trail. The first time we went, my husband insisted on hiking the gazillion miles over there, so he could see a beaver in captivity....you know...since he had only ever seen beavers in the wild...ha ha....(his idea of a hilarious joke.) So we forged ahead and were rewarded with treats and booze at the end of the trip.

The next time, I was cranky, pregnant and in the midst of morning sickness, when he and my daughter insisted that we must go see a deer. Ha ha....quite seriously, if I wanted to see a deer, I could do so on any f*&%ing day of the week, they are that common. So it was two against one, knowing full well that he had simply talked the 2 year old into this excitement about a deer to get to the little cafe at the other end. Well, my sickly ass trekked all the way there....and guess what....they had closed the cafe! So this time, when my then 2 year old, now nearly 5 five year old started up about seeing a moose in captivity (also rather common around Alberta)....I had to be the grinch and tell her that there was no way that was going to happen. ....instead, I bribed her with the old.."You choose...go see the moose or go to Chuck E. Cheese"....in retrospect, perhaps I should've chose the moose....or...... brought extra hand sanitizer.