Wednesday, June 2, 2010

From the Depths of Hell

Once in a while I see something that is so horrible I'm sure that it was created in the depths of hell. (Now when I say the depths of hell, I am reminded of Johnny Depp, you know that 'From Hell' movie he was in, which for some of you I imagine was great, but once I saw him in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he lost me.....I mean really, he was too creepy to be a candy man.)

Anyways, back to reality. I hang out at the local Farmers Market every Tuesday(...and I say hang out, because I do more hanging out than I do selling my goods.) So, this past Tuesday was really no different than any other one, except that I had plenty of time to carouse the rest of the goodies there.
Then I discovered these..........popcorn shirts. I strongly dislike them (ok...truthfully, I hate them...but hate seems such a harsh word), maybe partially out of jealousy...since the lady who sells them, sells a ton. But quite seriously...they're ugly too.

I do not get the attraction to these shirts. They start off eensy teensy....small enough to fit a cabbage patch doll and then stretch out to virtually fit anyone! (yet flatter no one.) I swear women over 60 flock to this table to stock up on these shirts(and some who are much younger). (I would tell them how horrible they are, but hey they're 60 or older....that would be rude, because my parents always taught me to respect my elders....even if they're dead wrong....perhaps I should take out the dead part....some of them could be dead wrong.)

They key argument from ladies is that it makes your bust look bigger (which is how I know a man must've invented these)....well that is true....but guess what it does for that muffin top, extra roll, and odd baggage that you're carrying also makes that look bigger. I have seen very slim women try these on only to look ...not so slim....sort of like a soft needled and colored porcupine ....yeah not a good look. Either way, big or small, these shirts are not your friend....they suck any hotness you have right out.

No matter what I say, I know that slowly these little monstrosities are working their way into the senior citizens wardrobes everywhere.

Well perhaps from the depths of hell will be a regular feature....I think next week will be moon sand...which I think I hate more than popcorn shirts.

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