Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Summer....Fashion Faux-pas Extravaganza

My uncle stopped over the other day and I was reminded of one of my biggest summer pet peeves....socks with sandals. So it got me to thinking (a dangerous past time, I know....and if you realize that I just scooped that line from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, you're cooler than I thought.)

Here are my top summer pet peeves....and ones that happen all too often.


SOCKS WITH SANDALS

....Seriously...either go the sock route or go the sandal route. This is not cool. (and yes, my husband does this....no matter how often I tell him he looks like a fool, he just doesn't care). Really...think about it....its like wearing long johns under your swimsuit. The whole point of sandals is to let your feet breathe....so why stick them in a sock?

Besides....

a) your socks will just get dirty
b) you look like an idiot (hey someone has to tell you!)


THE BANANA HAMMOCK

Yes, I know that supposedly these are all the rage in Europe. Well, here in Canada it tends to get chilly...even when its hot out, it can turn to be chilly within ten minutes and according to the law of shrinkage that you guys claim, these awesome suits will do nothing for showing off the goods. So stick to some board shorts....trust me...it will be to your advantage. That and did you ever notice that the guys wearing banana hammocks are never the ones that you want to?

(eww....and gold...I mean really...could he be any flashier?)

TUBE TOPS

Take a toque, then cut the top off and shimmy it over your boobs....there you go...you have a tube top. See how ridiculous that sounds....guess what...it looks just as ridiculous. Plus...last I checked its not 1985....(yes, I know that some of you wish it was 1985...but sorry about your luck...Def Leppard will never top the charts again...although if you need a back up singer for "Pour some Sugar on Me," I'm your girl.)


BRA STRAPS WITH SPAGHETTI STRAPS

I thought that this was sort of common knowledge, but apparently not. Plus, when this happens it isn't some cute little black strap that is showing. Its always some trashy pilled up dinge-y whitish bra strap showing. Either

a)don't wear a bra....(...only if you have tiny boobs and you can pull this off....otherwise, this could start a whole new round of pet peeves.)
b)wear a shirt with wider straps to cover the not-so sexy bra
c) buy a cute bra strappy- bra for the special occasions when you are planning on wearing a spaghetti strap outfit.

Nothing yells Gutter Sl*t like a trashy old bra showing under your spaghetti straps....hey, I'm just saying.

I know that these tips sound like common sense, but I'm sure that I've just helped thousands of people back from the brink of hideous summer attire....that is if thousands of you read it.

7 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more. I have a post in the works about things that should be illegal, and tube tops are the number 1 thing discussed.

    Glad to know we are on the same page.

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  2. My eyes, my eyes! Just as they recovered from my mobile phone snooping I see that picture. Might have to send pictures og bra with spaghetti strap top to check it is OK.

    You missed some of my favouries, girls with low waisted pants and cropped tops with either their asses showing or an unhealthy roll of fat cos their pants are too tight.

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  3. garh the muffin top, noooo!
    That picture looked like he had a happy, nice list of pet peeves by the way

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  4. My pet peeves from women are bra straps sticking out, and I mean like...not just slightly but like wearing a sleeveless top with a bra with straps. The other is the low jeans with a thong sticking way above the wasteband in the back.

    ReplyDelete