My Vacation Is Over...

Some of you may be wondering just pecisely where the hell I've been for the past 10 months.

Well, wonder no more.

I managed to get myself knocked up (spare me the birds and the bees lecture...it was spugnut (pronounced SPUG-NUT) número 3, so I have a pretty good idea exactly how it came about.)

Let me get you up to speed:

I spent my Christmas season trying to be ridiculously sneaky, making elaborate Mocktails, so that no one would suspect there was a baby on board. (I think only one friend actually caught on...the rest were apparently too wasted themselves.)  That phase was quickly followed by 3 months of pajamas and puking. Followed by 2 months of insanely low blood pressure (I'll save the story about fainting in a cage of monkeys in a foreign country for another time...you think I'm kidding...but I'm not.) Top that up with a few months of feeling great and finish it off with a few hours of excruciating pain(guess who didn't have any drugs.  Long story short...I forgot to ask - once again, not kidding.) and then the cutest damn baby you've ever seen.

Yep, that about sums up the last 10 months...

I'm back.

I won't be on a "regular" schedule right away, but you'll be hearing more from me.  

Motivation-less

Ugh...

I'm in the midst of writers block.  I use that term loosely...since I'm not really a writer.  I could say blogger's block, but then everyone would be wondering if I went crazy googling symptoms for something again.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that I still have the majority of my Christmas shopping left, the fact that I have my Christmas present to myself right next to me, and it keeps distracting me (it's a new computer...but I haven't turned it on yet).  And I know what you're thinking....No, I couldn't leave it in the box.  It was cold when the delivery guy brought it, so it needed to get it out in the warm air so that it didn't permanently hurt it. And besides it's pretty to look at.  I thought that maybe it would motivate me to write genius-ly funny things....but it hasn't turned out that way yet.  Or maybe my lack of motivation has nothing to do with the computer...and really it's this hour old coffee that I'm slowly drinking...even though it's cold and I'm too lazy to go upstairs to get a new one.

I thought that maybe today would be the day when I'd get a million ideas at once.  But nope...I did have one idea...but then I forgot what it was.  I really need to get a notepad next to my bed, for when I'm dreaming and a brilliant topic comes to me.  So....I haven't abandoned you....I'll be back. 


great now that I've ended with that line I feel like the Terminator...

or my band teacher from school...he always wore this shirt:(well not this one exactly...but pretty close)

you can buy your own here.

and just so you know...I drank the entire cup of cold coffee while writing this....that's how unmotivated I am today.