Apparently I'm Not Done Picking On Dogs Yet....and The Potential Proof of Evolution Through Lady Parts.

Yes.
I like making ridiculously long titles, just so you are forced to come over here to read the rest of it.
(Also, I thought putting Uterus in the title was tacky....who am I kidding?!)

Last night, I just happened to be hanging with the baby at 2:30 a.m., when I heard this creepy noise at the door. It was freaky. I had just let the dog out (yes, he's still giving me the silent treatment)...so that left one of two options

A) A serial killer had killed my dog and was now toying with me in hopes that I would walk outside, directly into his trap.

B) It was the dog.

Since I've seen my share of scary movies, I decided to go out the front door to investigate the goings on at the other door.

Guess what...

It was the f*#%ing dog! Digging through the garbage....because of course, I have nothing better to do than to pick that crap up during daylight hours. I had kinda thought he was still pissed off about the whole wig thing (which I'm still laughing about), but this seals it. He's apparently still beyond pissy.

He's been warned about this behaviour...yet it continues.

I've Informed him that if he keeps this 'tude up, I'll have no choice but to recreate this photo that I scooped off of Pinterest with him as the main subject.

source

 He didn't look impressed, so I'm hoping that I got my point across. Don't dig in the freaking garbage!!!

(secretly I'm hoping that he keeps the attitude up - that picture is hilarious...but don't tell him that.)

Also, in other baby related news, the Duggar's are expecting their 20th baby. Shhh...listen carefully, you can hear her uterus weeping from here.   Never mind, that's my uterus giving hers sympathy cries. Seriously though, my uterus would have fled the scene about 15 babies back. If ever there were an argument for evolution, this is it. Just wait, a few more babies and that uterus is gonna grow itself some feet and a heartbeat and run away as fast as it can.

A Zillion Answers...Well Actually 14

Ok....

So fantastic Scrappin'Amber (over at Amber: Kick Ass Wife, Cool Ass friend and All Around Awesome Chick........ ) has kicked my ass in an arm wrestling contest, so I have to answer these questions.  But seriously, she nominated me...so yeah, I do as I'm told.


1. If you could spend the rest of your life doing only one thing, what would that be?

I was going to say swimming, but that leads to alot of wrinkly skin, or maybe driving, because I like to do that too, but that would lead to a sore back I think.  So I'll say ranting at people for money.  (don't knock it til you've tried it!)

2. What is the best thing you can bake/cook:  Crunchie Cheesecake....but I'm pretty good at cooking just about anything....other than cookies. (Don't ask me why, they are never quite right)...or that cake I made that my sister never lets me live down....ok...I put in too much gelatin...cut me some slack!

3. What household chore is your least favorite? Dishes....or picking up dog poop (yes, I realize that's outside, but its still a chore...so too bad.)

4. If you could bring three things to a deserted island, what would they be? A lifetime supply of Pepsi, A hat...(I have a tendency to get too much sun and be sick), and a boat. (is that cheating?)

5. What's the next big thing you are thinking about splurging on? Hmmm...well since I just repainted, I informed my hubby that we now need new flooring and furniture...so maybe....a little wishful thinking never hurt anyone.

6. Post a current photo

WHAT???  Now people will know that I don't look like a rainbow with a little m....
fine....party pooper.

7. If you could have ANY pet EVER, what/who would it be? I like Bing...our dog...he's good. (I did have that post about monkey's but apparently thats a no.)   Or an elephant...they look cool...but imagine the poop I'd have to pick up!

 
8. Who is your favorite musician/band and why? Silverchair...because Daniel Johns is hot....yeah...and their music is pretty sweet too...but basically he's hot.  Wow...I'm ridiculously shallow.

9. What celebrity annoys you the most and why?  Seriously....Barbara Walters....Who died and made her God....wait she's Jewish....does she believe in God?  I'm getting all my religions mixed up ever since I started praying to JesusAllahKrishnaVishnuYahweh.  But yeah, I have little to no patience for her...but she's a snazzy dresser for being 87...what  she's 94?  No shit  (just kidding, really, she's 80 right now...and yes, she looks good, but she weilds too much power...malevolently...thats right, look it up.)

Photo: Evan Agostini / AP

Source: AP

10. What has been your biggest letdown lately?  The color I painted my house...I swear it looked greyish blue....but now I feel as though I am in a senior lodge with a pastel lilac color ....everywhere...all I need is a set of dentures by the sink a few Depends and you'd never know the difference.

11. Worst job you have ever had and why?  Tree farm....I worked for two months when I was a teenager at this little tree farm.  I had to roll up 15 little trees in saran wrap...my hands were so sore...they were permanently half curled for those 2 months.  Shitty job.

12. Guilty pleasures?   Seriously...you don't want to know.  Pepsi....chips...and hollandaise sauce  (its on top of Eggs Benedict.)  It looks gross, but its so good....and you can hear your arteries clogging while you eat it.

And maybe wine...but only white wine...and really only Dr. ZenZen.

13. The last argument you had with someone - what was it about? 
My 4 year old wanting a Chihuahua.

4yo: I want a Chihuahua
ME: no
4yo:  I want a Chihuaha....NOW. (Little balled fists and stamping feet.)
Me:  no, Veruca Salt....now get in the truck
4yo:  Thats not my name...and I still don't have a Chihuahua

Me:  I noticed.

(And she wanted to name the Chihuahua...DAVE...really!?  That is totally not a chihuahua name...You have to name a chihuahua like Pepito or Taco or SkippyJon Jones.)

Source

14. What would be something you would NEVER do, even if someone paid you a shit ton of money?  Aside from the obvious answer of I wouldn't kill anyone, I don't think I'd ever want anything to do with Coca-Cola....thats right...everyone has standards....and I refuse to drink/work for/ be paid to promote anything to do with that nasty drink.

So there you have it....a bunch of answers to questions that you never wanted me to answer.

So, now I must pass it along to seven people...

(I've tried to not double up from Scrappy's list)

Pennyclad  - Venfrippery....with a name like that you have to check out the blog!

Allegra - Fonzie was Six Four...go ahead take a peek!

Clare Actman - The Clare Actman Files

Kate - Hotdishing

Jessica Catalano - The Ganga Kitchen Revolution

CKrets Galore - Kick her right in the Habit (and no, its not about nuns!)

Nicole Jilted and Starting Over

ok...I'm supposed to give you 7 more questions...and I will,  but how about you pick 10 or so out of all the questions and answer them.

1. What is your favorite belonging?

2.What is your favorite drink?

3.  What was your first memory?

4. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

5.  What are your feelings about Wal-Mart?

6. Who was your favorite celeb when you were 12?

7.  What are the worst traits to have in a friend?