What happens when you put 8 ladies in a room with alcohol and a cut out of Robert Pattinson....?
Well, nothing good can come of this.(don't worry, there's photographic evidence to follow)
I belong to a small group of ladies, that from here on out will be referred to as "The Ladies." The Ladies and I get together every month. Each of us has a turn in hosting an evening throughout the year. We do all sorts of things. Go for dinner, drink, go to movies, drink, go on scavenger hunts, Amazing Races, and sometimes we drink. (But truthfully, it's alot less drinking than I imply, because...well chances are at any given moment there are at least two ladies who are pregnant and/or nursing.)
Last week it was my turn. Being the hysterically funny person that I am...I bought a Robert Pattinson cardboard cut out. Yes, it's true. Just a little FYI, it was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life (except for when I was 8 and had to go to the doctor to get a sliver extracted from my hooha...note to self...don't slide down wood banisters.) Anyways, the local video store (Jim's Video...that's right, there's no Blockbuster around these parts) has had a cardboard cutout of the Hollywood heartthrob for months. I figure, being the awesome customer that I am, I'll take it off their hands for $29.99. I stroll in to the store prepared to do my best 'I'm not sure who this guy is and I'm not some crazed woman who is going to dance nude with a cut out of a sparkly vampire' act. When they inform me that these cut outs are a hot seller and that they keep having to order more in. Seriously, I was as shocked as you are now.
I had been planning the purchase for weeks. It's a small town and the rumour mill would be going crazy if someone saw me walk out of the store with the massive cut out of a sparkl-icious vampire (really since when do vampires sparkle?!). Long story short...it folds up so that nobody knows that you are secretly carrying a vampire with you.
And no, Twilight, was not my premise for the evening. It was The Price Is Right...and he was a prize...well, just in case some one's husband was gone, then they didn't have to enjoy the wine alone.
Well the poor cardboard cut out didn't last the evening.
After we all posed with him, we decided he needed to go to the bar (everyone knows that a silent and good looking man is priceless) . Some jealous bitches tore our man up. And by jealous bitches, I mean two drunk guys.
well, if this is the dumbest thing I do all year, I'm good.
p.s. I'm in the purple...but my eyes looked crazed...so black out bar you get.
And for those ladies who are wondering where the hell your picture is...they didn't all turn out...and some of you weren't as enthusiastic as others. :(